When I was 15 I had an experience with an ex girlfriend that is non to pleasant. I was young, naïve, and… I was innocent. She took that innocence from me. I mention it every now and again, but I don’t really talk about it in detail. It was date rape. There were no drugs, but she made me feel like there was no other option. As an adult I look back and think of everything I could have done to get out of that situation. I criticize myself and sometimes blame myself, but then I remember… I was a kid. I was 15 with no experience and a fear of this person who liked me not liking me anymore… hating me even. She was a manipulator and she manipulated my emotions in a way that made me feel as if I had no way out.

Why am I telling you this? Because this explains a lot about who I am. How I treat women, how I view myself, and how I treat others. It’s my dirty little secret, and I think I need to talk about it in an open forum.

See, I call myself a gentledyke because I am not a man, but I act like a gentleman… thus the term “gentledyke.” I treat women with respect. I look into their eyes, and I look at them. I try my best to keep my hands to myself, and I do my best to never cross a line. Some people think me a prude because of this, but there are reasons behind why I am like this. I never want to make a woman feel how I felt in that moment, or how I felt when I was with my first girlfriend.

She was verbally abusive, manipulative, self-centered, whore and an emotional wreck. Honestly, I don’t even know why I was ever with the bitch whore in the first place. She treated me like shit and put me in situations I did not want to be in. It was like she had this sick spell over me, and I desperately wanted out, but could not find the door.

She was the one who made me feel like a whale, and since then I have had issues with body image. She was the one who told me I was not good enough and should not try…crushing my fragile self-esteem… she was my first, and she was a nightmare from hell. Since my first girlfriend it has been a battle to find my inner strength and to believe in the one person who deserves my faith most… myself.

I am a gentledyke and a respectful girlfriend because I was shown exactly what not to be. This pours over into my friendships. I am a nurturer because I don’t want people to feel bad. I am sincere because I never want to make someone feel how she made me feel. She crushed me, and ever since that bitch I have fought to overcome the insecurities she placed in me because she could not fix them in herself.

This has been something that has just been quiet too long. I was 15. I was young. I was, by definition, innocent…if this happened now, it would be a different story, but back then… I had just found out what a blow job was and how lesbians had sex months before. It was an overwhelming drowning feeling, and if you are feeling that in a relationship… I hope this makes you realize you should get out. Your mental health comes first.

I promised myself I would never go back to someone like that. I promised myself I would never treat anyone like that. I would never make someone feel like I did, or put a woman in the situation I was in. I promised myself I would not let her keep me down, and so far I have done well, but every now and again I slip. I hold back, doubt myself, or sell myself short. I hope this makes you understand me a bit better, and I hope that this makes someone in a similar situation see that they should just get out and move on.

Now I am with someone I know would never put me in such a situation and who cares about me for who I am. She does not want me in her life because she needs a punching bag, and she does not treat me like shit. I don’t know what will come of it, but I know it’s not like that whore bitch I dated back when I was 15. These posters around campus are cheesy but true… what really matters is that when someone says “stop” you don’t keep going or try to change the statement… you just do it. You stop.

These experiences have a very negative and intense effect on a person’s lives, but they can also be a learning experience of what not to be, and how not to treat people. I learned, and I hope you learn too.

-Cristina Marrero

In a shameful bout of weakness, I started watching Jersey Shore last week.

I know, judge me.

For some reason, I got sucked in.  I think  that’s partially because of just the inane drama of it all, but also because that show has more sound bites per minute than any other show that I’ve ever watched.  Seriously, if you don’t watch it, you can probably still quote some of it because it is all over the Internet and American culture.

One particular sound bite that jumped out at me was from Episode 7:

“… but if I had to have sex with one person here, it would probably be him, ‘cause I know he’s a nice guy; he’s got to be clean.” ~Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, “Jersey Shore,” Season 1, Ep. 7

Despite my sarcasm and snarkiness in my last post, I’m actually not going to tear Snookers here a new one.  Her reasoning is the same used by many sexually active people out there, and I think it’s really important to emphasize that nice guys (and girls) can have STIs.  Remember that post that I wrote about the girl that got herpes from the first guy she had sex with?  She’s probably a nice girl—she’s only had sex with one guy.  And now she has herpes, and she’ll have it for the rest of her life.

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Every human being has a sexual orientation based on their sexual preference. This is known to be a common knowledge fact; however, some knowledge has been left out of the common audience’s education on human sexuality.  In a quest to understand sexual preference and orientation, one major piece of the puzzle has been left out: Asexuality. 

Asexuality is just as much a sexual orientation as homosexuality or heterosexuality, but much resistance has been shown to the concept of asexuality as an orientation and/or sexual preference. This community is as real as the LGBTQ community or the heterosexual community, but has been met with resistance because of the dominating mindsets of today. In a world so centered on the human sexual experience, today’s society has a hard time understanding that a sexual orientation can be based on the preference of no sexuality needed.

Sexual orientation is based on one’s own sexual preference; therefore, asexuality is just as much a sexual orientation as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Why? Because asexuality is centered on a sexual preference that lacks or has no desire for sexual activity.

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I never understood why it was so hard for men to understand how to please a woman. It really is not that difficult to be good in bed… you just have to be willing to pay attention. No woman’s body is ever exactly the same, just as no two women are ever alike. What pleases one may not please the other. Men seem to get frustrated by this diversity, then blame women for their bad performances in the sack. I’m sick of men putting all the blame on women. So, listen up, and listen up good. If you are a man who wants to know the real secret to the “How do I please a woman?” question, I am about to give you the coveted answer. You ready? You have to not be selfish, and actually pay attention to her NEEDS! Mind boggling isn’t it?

Being in theatre gives me access to a wide variety of different people. They tend to open up to me, sharing their stories on life, love, and sexual frustration. One of my cast members was speaking with me yesterday about her ex-boyfriend and his inability to perform. She told me that she had to hum a tune in order to stay awake during the act. If this were not bad enough, the guy was a freaking one minute man. In her words, “We did not even get to the main course.” Hell, they hardly touched the appetizer.

The girl (who will remain anonymous) proceeded to tell me that her ex came in under 30 seconds of her giving him a blow job. She did not even enjoy giving him head. She did it for his pleasure, and naturally expected the act to lead to other, more interesting, parts of the show. But after the bastard came, he asked, “Do you want to cuddle?”

When she asked him, “So, is that it? I don’t get anything in return?”

He explained, “I’m too tired.”

My friend rightfully told him to fuck off, and then proceeded to exit the room. Men, if you do not see the problem in this situation, then stop reading now because there is not hope for you.

In later months, the ex-boyfriend would contact her asking if they could get back together. He mentioned how good the sex was, and when she explained to this embezzle that he never even got her close to climax… he responded, “Yes, I did.” The arrogant bastard tried to tell her what she did or did not experience. Hell, no. Mark it down boys… that is a definite no, no. This guy is an example of what exactly NOT to be: Arrogant, cocky, self-absorbed, selfish, and to narcissistic to understand what he did wrong. There is nothing wrong with being bad in bed and wanting to improve… what is wrong is being too self-centered to admit you are bad in bed and need help.

You want to be good in bed? Then listen up. Here are a few steps to better your sex life.

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Let me start off by saying that nothing positive has ever occurred in my life at 3am.

Intro to sex...101.

We’re just F*ckin’.

I slowly pull up into his townhouse parking lot as my headlights shine through his window, illuminating his living room. I can see him waiting for me on the love-seat. The door creeks open. It’s cold. So I can’t help but wonder why his calculator-button abs are exposed through his unzipped hoody. Does he think that’s sexy? His nipples are so hard that they look like googly eyes staring at me…put a shirt on.

“Hey! What’s up”, I say as I reach for a hug.

“Nothin’ much”, he says as he closes the door, begins to kiss me, unzips his pants, and attempts to put a condom on…all in about 5 seconds.

#pause. Damn can I get comfortable first?!?!

I take a step back. “WTF are you doing?”

“Not so loud. My mom is asleep. And what do you mean? You know why you came”. The condom is on. You would think he’s been hard for an hour already. He grabs my hand and signals me to the basement. I give off a puzzled look, as if to say “What the hell am I doing here?”, but it’s not like he’s focused on my facial expressions. Read more »

LAID: Young People's Experiences With Sex in an Easy-Access Culture

I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I just received and finished my copy of LAID.  I know, it took me a month, and my only excuse is that I waited to order my copy until I had visited every one of my local Barnes and Noble and Borders stores to request that a copy be sent to the stores themselves.  I never picked them up in the hope that someone wandering the stacks will find the book, purchase it, and request more copies for the store (you’re welcome, Shannon).

So here I am, sitting around the house with fresh thoughts of sex banging around in my head, and I wanted to share a few impressions that I have of the book.  First off, I think it’s written extraordinarily well.  The stories are hard-hitting and real, and there’s an honestly that’s rare in tales of sex.  Sex still tends to be a taboo topic outside of medical discussions, and I thought that the emotional take on most of the situations was a refreshing look at sex and sexuality.  I do think that the book would have benefited from a few more-experienced voices—as a slightly older writer for the LAID blog, I found that there was a lot of the folly of youth in the stories.  However, considering that the book chronicles young people’s experiences with sex, the lack of an older voice isn’t necessarily a detriment to the overall effect of the book.

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UPDATE: okay, so I realized that i reeeallly didn’t  like how I wrote this, so I’m gonna attempt to detach myself emotionally and fix it. Hopefully it works. (Happppy Bday 2 my little cuz btw.

The Place: Trinidad and Tobago (Specifically Tobago), a small Caribbean Island Nation

This occurred while my mom and I were on vacation visiting the country where we just moved out of two years earlier.

Strong Blood.

As I sit at the edge of the shaky bed hugging her, I feel the warmth of her tears drip onto my leg. They begin to fall faster. Tears flow like rain from her cloudy eyes as they bleed through my t-shirt. My ears ring out as her little o-shaped mouth releases a thunderous bawl. The sound resonates throughout my body as I feel a shocking sensation—as if I am struck with lightning. I try to think of something comforting to say. No Such luck. At the tender age of 10, I was never taught how to console my little cousin after the death of her mom. My aunt. How do I explain to her what A.I.D.S is? How do I tell her that her “father” is the reason her mom is no longer alive? I guess I should be well prepared when it’s time to explain this to her baby sister.

Fast Forward. It’s tomorrow. Read more »

Humanity assumes on a daily basis. We assume and make asses of ourselves, and not necessarily others. Until recently, I assumed all individuals were sexual. This is not true. In a world where sex dominates the media streams, it is easy to forget that sex is not everything. I have had the great privilege of meeting an individual who has reminded me of this fact. While he wishes to remain anonymous, my friend has granted me a peek inside his mind.

If you have not figured out what I am talking about, let me clarify: I am talking about asexuality. I will not presume to be an expert on the subject, nor will he, but I will attempt to bring you a glimpse of a world, we sexual beings, rarely have a chance to see. A world where physical aesthetics and sex do not dominate one’s life. In fact, sex plays no great part in this individuals mind other than it being a curious phenomenon.

This interview is not a representation of all asexual individuals, but rather, a glimpse into the mind of one asexual being. Just as I can not represent every lesbian on the face of the planet, neither can he represent every asexual person. Asexuality is as diverse as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Just as there is not one way to be homosexual, there is not one way to be asexual, and there are several classifications within the asexual community. I will be doing follow up blogs on the asexual community with more facts and scientific info, but for now, I would like to put a real human face (anonymous or not) on the term asexuality.

CM: What is asexuality in your own words?

ANON: I like the clinical definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction. But the working definition is that identities are based on actions and so identifying as asexual would mean that you do not pursue sex. How much of your life have you spent attempting to find a girlfriend/boyfriend?  And that is all the free time I have to juggle, and unicycle, and rock climb, scuba dive, or whatever the hell else I do: I have forgotten. Oh, and the casual swearing.

CM: So, no sex whatsoever?

ANON: Preferably.

The boy means it. To him, all forms of sex are equally unappealing.

CM: You said no sexual attraction, but do you have any other forms of attraction to women? Furthermore, are your attractions limited to one set standard gender identity?

ANON: Wow, that sentence really expands when you put it in politically correct terms. So, your question is in what way am I attracted to girls/boys?

CM: Yeah, that’s about right.

ANON: Then I am attracted to girls, in much the same way as others are attracted to friends. People I get along with, share common interest, think somewhat similarly… yeah that ends the list. Perhaps I should note, while I am not sexually attracted to women, I do find certain ones aesthetically appealing. For comparison: Have you ever met an art work you’ve ever wanted to have sex with?

CM: Well, I do have a few friends who have crushes on Disney characters.

As the conversation went on, I came to understand what he meant. His attraction is similar to an art collector’s admiration of a masterpiece. While the art collector doses not want to sleep with the work of art, they can still appreciate its beauty.

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A year and three days ago, my beautiful baby girl was born at 4:02am.  See, here she is:

Kathyrn's Daughter, 10/10/08

Isn’t she pretty?

OK, let’s be honest, she’s a little busted–she’s MUCH prettier now–but that’s because she had just made a very hard journey through the vaginal canal.

It’s probably a little uncomfortable to hear “vaginal canal” when you’re reading a sex blog, but you know what?  Sex can lead to pregnancy, which can lead to childbirth and children.  That is the reality of being sexually active.  So imma take this opportunity to tell you exactly how my labor went, gory details and all.

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Dear Herpes Girl,

I read your post card on this week’s Post Secret (www.postsecret.com), and I just have so many things to say to you. First, honey, WHAT were you thinking not using a condom? Using a condom properly and consistently will prevent pregnancy 97% of the time, and is the only method of contraception that protects against all sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV [1].

I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you did use a condom, but that (a) dude didn’t tell you that he had herpes and (b) the outbreak was outside of the condom’s protective area. For that, I’m really sorry. He should have told you that he had herpes. And if he didn’t tell you, you should have ASKED. I know it’s uncomfortable asking someone in the heat of the moment—or anytime, really—if they have or have had any STIs, but it’s going to be a lot less uncomfortable than painful ulcerating lesions [2]. And if the outbreak was outside of the condom’s protective area, well, I don’t think there’s much you can do about that, especially considering that some outbreaks don’t have visible symptoms.

But honey, one of the most disturbing things in your note was that you wished that you’d had a chance to be a “slut” before contracting herpes. What, exactly, is a slut? Is it someone who has had multiple partners? If that’s the case, what about those people who have been in multiple monogamous sexual relationships? Are they sluts?

I’m going to venture to say no, because these are people who are sharing their bodies with a person who treasures it as much as they themselves do (or, I at least hope that’s the case). These are people that are taking measures to protect their minds, hearts, AND bodies. Being in sexual relationships is part of being an adult human being, and how far you allow that to go and with whom is your own business. Responsibility is not slutty.

On the other hand, if you’re talking about people who will sleep with near anyone and everyone without being a monogamous relationship, well, that’s a different story. But that kind of activity still doesn’t deserve a degrading name; it deserves a talking-to and maybe retaking a sex education class. As you’ve by now experienced, unprotected, risky sexual behavior is medically unsafe. It also takes its toll on you emotionally—sexual intercourse releases a hormone called oxytocin that causes you to bond with your sexual partner. If you break that bond, it becomes harder to make the next bond stick, even harder for the one after that, and so on and so forth [3]. And if you’re bed-hopping even just once a week, that gives you 52 INDIVIDUAL chances to contract something. It’s 52 times that you’ve broken that biological bond. It’s dangerous to both your heart and your body, hon. Think about that.

It pains me that in your mind, women who sleep around are automatically labeled as sluts. And yes, I say women because I’m pretty sure that your assessment doesn’t apply to men. Are men who sleep around sluts? In my mind, if we’re going to be name-calling, yes. Men who sleep with tons of women deserve to be called sluts. But does anyone deserve to be called a slut?

“Slut” is a really harmful name. It can completely shred a person’s self-esteem for no good reason. It can cause the recipient of such an insult to begin engaging in risky behavior, when before, he or she was a normal, sexual being.

I urge you to do three things, dear: one, go buy yourself a box of condoms and keep them in your purse and bedside table. I recommend Trojan 2Go for your purse; with their hard case, they’re less likely to get mangled. They can be purchased here: http://www.condom.com/trojan-2-go-ultra-thin-condoms.html. Two, get a prescription for Valtrex; it will help with preventing outbreaks, which will make your life more comfortable and help keep your future partners’ health safe. Three, please fix your attitude concerning having multiple partners. If you do, we’ll have a lot fewer broken women walking around out there.

Safe and Happy Banging,
Kathryn
1. World Health Organization, “Effectiveness of male latex condoms in protecting against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections,” http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs243/en. Internet. Accessed on 8 October 2009.
2. World Health Organization, “Herpes virus type 2,” http://www.who.int/immunization/topics/herpes_2/en. Internet. Accessed on 8 October 2009.
3. Your Amazing Brain, “The science of love,” http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm. Internet. Accessed 8 October 2009.

“I don’t like my body.” How many times have we heard these words, or better, how many times have we caught ourselves saying them? I know I am guilty of such a statement.

I never really paid much attention to my body until I met my first girlfriend. She was not a nice person. I was only 15 when I first met her. I look back and loath the very mention of her name. My first ex was verbally abusive.  She was the kind of girl that would tear you down, abuse your love, and rip any innocence remaining. I was 15, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  The first time we were together, it only lasted a week, but in that week’s time, my first girlfriend managed to take my kissing virginity… along with almost every other virginity she could get her hands on. In that one week, she managed to shatter my spirit. After an incident—which I considered to be date rape—I broke up with her.  

Though I may have ended things, she and I later found our way back to dating one another.  It was the biggest mistake of my life. I did some things I am not proud of, but worst of all, I let her do some things to me, which I could never take back.  I am still not ready to disclose these stories within my story. Perhaps, on another occasion; however, I will tell you one detail in the chaotic novel that is my first ex and I.

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I was talking to my new husband about children and sexual education when the topic of masturbation came up.  We both agree that we want to be very open and informative with our children about many things, including sex, but masturbation was a little fuzzier.

Both of our parents gave us the “You can talk to us about anything” line as kids.  I took it literally and asked a million questions, and Andrew never wondered much about sex as a kid and found himself a little behind his peers in terms of sexual knowledge when he got a bit older.  Neither of us thought to ask about masturbation, and neither of us actually tried it until we were in our mid/late teens and had already had our first orgasms with each other.

Turns out we weren’t the only kids who were clueless about solo sex.  I asked my friends to anonymously send me their first-time masturbation stories (apparently they’re as open about sex as I am — only one person submitted anonymously) and none of them were informed about masturbation by their parents when they were kids either.

“When I was ten or eleven I started looking at online porn. That was in the age of dial up and an image used to take a minute or two to load. Because of the long load times and the inconvenience of having to use the family computer, I kept a stack of printed photos stashed in my room. For a while I was doing it because it gave me a hard on, but I didn’t understand how it was all supposed to end.” – Archie*

“The first time I heard the term ‘masturbation’ was in 1994. I’d just picked up Green Day’s ‘Dookie’ and heard the song ‘Longview’ for the first time — the line in question was ‘when masturbation’s lost its fun you’re fucking breaking’. I realized I had no idea what the term meant, so like a good nerd I went to the old dictionary to find out. Reading the definition didn’t really do a lot to answer my questions. I could have asked my parents, because they’d always been open with me regarding all things sexual (in the interest of giving me a proper education, god bless ‘em), but I was uncomfortable doing so, because I was ten and sort of realizing my parents didn’t match my estimation of ‘cool’.” – Reggie

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“Girls are like buses; miss one the next 15 one coming.” And so the song continues, “we like her and we like her too…I wish I could f*ck every girl in the world.”

I hate this song.

Have I danced to it? Guilty as charged.

I still hate this song.

I had this lyric written down in my memo pad for the longest time because it struck a nerve with me and I always wanted to address it here. It says so much about our sexuality and what we’re allowed to do as men and women. This song is not the first and it certainly won’t be the last to lower the double-standard bar, but when I heard this line I had to laugh to myself although there was nothing funny about it. There’s so many things wrong with this picture, and while the topic of dumb women-bashing music has really been exhausted, my patience to address it has yet to wear thin. Still, that’s not why I’m here.

My issue with it lies in the fact that I’m not at liberty to create a song boasting my desire to “f*ck every man in the world.”

**Please note that this is not my desire, but rather a “for instance.” You can see how not providing a disclaimer would render me the very “whore” I’m defending.**

If I wanted to make a song singing these lyrics I would be all but stoned to death. Blogs would be on overload about the girl who sang about a million penises and girls wouldn’t dare to sing along with me. I would definitely be awarded all the derogatory names that so many “loose” women have “earned.”

I also find it completely ridiculous for anyone to proclaim themselves as King Ding-a-ling on a mission to fullfil every position, with every girl. In the world.

So given that, the questions remain: Do I think this kind of music can be erased? Nope. Do I want this kind of music to be erased? Nope. I say no because if this song and every one like it is banned then a lot of music that I love must be banned too, music that others might see as equally offensive to them and so that approach does not make much sense. Obviously “banning” music is ludaris anyway.

So while I’m still entirely pissed off by the stupidity of this song I laugh at the thought that someone (male or female) might actually want to f*uck every person in the world. And please, don’t label me as holier-than-thou, because I understand it’s your prerogative to do so but really…that kind of task cannot be gratifying. I understand that I may be taking the lyrics too literally and this song might just be an embellishment of the male ego. However, if I’m going to take their other songs as fact, I might as well do the same with this one.

Think about it for a second. Every girl. All of them. Even the one down the street who you wouldn’t look twice at.

Really? You want to stick your penis into a billion vaginas? What makes you think every girl would agree to that anyway? Despite what the male ego may think a lot of us are quite choosey, but I digress.

Please people, think again, the first (barf) 20 vaginas might (I stress this word) be a nice treat, but by the 21st you might start to rethink your quest. 20 is very far from a billion. While you’re doing the rethinking read the chapter called Hookups in Shannon Boodram’s book LAID. It will give you some insight as to how many girls you really want to f*uck.

Crystal Coburn
Get Out the Box

Planned Parenthood released what I think is a wonderful ad in 2007. This is the sort of thing that I think would grab teens’ everybody’s attention.  Of course due to the graphic nature involved it would garner both negative and positive feedback, mostly negative more than likely. That very reason is probably why it was never seen in bus shelters or magazines.  But with that being said, it doesn’t change the fact that people are attracted and pay attention to sexually charged ads, so at least this one has a positive message. 

Contraception needs to be at the forefront of our minds when thinking about sex and not an after thought. Planned Parenthood is not naive, they know that people come up with 101 excuses as to why protection wasn’t used, so I think they would rather promote another way to have intercourse that wouldn’t cause unplanned pregnancy. I think the ad is smart and funny and should be taken with a grain of salt. Focus should be on the message not on the image. There are far too many children having children, I, and I think Planned Parenthood, would rather children have anal sex. Um..you know what I mean =)

–Jay

I’m not here to preach… exactly.  But if you ever want some evidence that sex was meant for a particular context— marriage— here’s some scary-but-true things to consider:

1.  In a hood near you, there are baby-daddies running around having babies by multiple girls that, literally, live right down the street from each other.  And, in many cases, the girls don’t even realize that they share sperm donors.  That’s a problem.  Let’s do a quick review of some scientific facts:

When people who share genetic material ‘get busy’, what happens is, the likelihood of mental retardation and birth defects in the offspring goes up-up-up.  God made incest immoral for us Christians, but that alone is enough to make it  illegal to Western society at large.

So… Did it ever occur to you that there’s a distinct possibility these children— who were born of the same father— MIGHT grow up around and interact with each other unknowingly?  Did it ever occur to you that, when those illegitimate kids become hormonal teenagers, there’s a possibility that they may, in fact, become sexually active… with each other?  Total strangers meet and become intimate, engaging in casual sex, having no idea that they’re half-brothers and half-sisters by the same father.  And all of  a sudden— when fate would have it that they mistakenly conceive a child— it comes out with deformities.  And no one can figure out why.

It will happen.  It has happened.  It is happening.  And it is increasing.

2.  True story:  a nightclub in Atlanta holds a free HIV screening in the name of AIDS awareness…  and over 2/3 of the people in the club are HIV positive.  That’s a majority, by the way.

Now, consider just how many clubs are in Atlanta altogether…  Then consider the fact that many people in Atlanta who go to the club go to more than one club per night.  Intentions?  To profile, socialize, get drunk dance, get drunk, have sex,  in that order.  So, if 2/3 of ONE Atlanta club is HIV positive, and these people frequent MULTIPLE Atlanta clubs, then it’s VERY likely that OTHER clubs have high numbers of HIV cases as well.  After all, contrary to popular belief, HIV isn’t the common cold yet; it’s treatable, but once you’ve got it, you’ve got it.  The number of cases can only get bigger, not smaller.

Consider also that most people who have HIV/AIDS don’t know it.  That goes for Atlanta, too.  And the key to effective treatment is early diagnosis. Untreated, HIV becomes AIDS…

Bottom line:  consider a major metropolitan city with a major population of HIV-to-full-blown-AIDS cases walking around.  Not enough awareness to stop the cycle, not enough treatment to go around.

It will happen.  It has happened.  It is happening.  And it is increasing.

3.  Between the Internet and late-night Girls Gone Wild commercials, there’s enough young women (and men) engaging in pornography to rebuild Sodom and Gomorrah (biblical references, look ‘em up).  And that’s not including the people who watch them…

Here’s the clincher though:  out of the thousands and thousands of young people engaged in it, how many of them are just “going through a phase” and don’t realize it yet?  It may be 10, maybe 12 years down the road, but how many of these young people are only rebels of the moment, doomed to one day regret abusing their sexual freedom?

Once your face— among other things— is put out there… how do you get your identity back?

If it seems unrealistic, consider Facebook:  if you merely write the wrong things on a Facebook page and a potential employer discovers it, you could be denied a position based on that alone.  Heck, you could HAVE a job with an employer, and be FIRED from that job based on Facebook alone.

So how much more at risk is a young man or young woman who bares all and does all on camera?  Aside from all moral and legal arguments, that’s THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of bright futures put in jeopardy… for a Spring Break of skin… or a commissioned payday.

It will happen.  It has happened.  It is happening.  And it is increasing.

What I’m trying to say is that, once again, we as a society have gotten ahead of ourselves.  We’re making decisions with our sexualities that are setting us all up for a lot of tragedy in the relatively near future.  I only mentioned the above three examples because citing some of my other ‘favorites’ would be redundant.  By now, you’ve got to realize what a little infidelity does to families; what past sexual abuse does to future relationships; what a lack of knowledge does to unsuspecting teens.

I’m hoping that by placing the emphasis on less suspected, more “pandemic” situations, the importance of sexual responsibility will be even more greatly recognized.

…Ya know, my greatest fear for humanity is that, since apocalypses don’t happen often, we won’t recognize the signs until it’s too late.

Sumn like dat.

-Jigabod