I read a really disturbing report a few days ago concerning a Tampa, Florida, doctor and one of his patients.  Here’s a small excerpt:

Dr. Daniel R. Lerom is listed in documents as having a long-standing sexual relationship with his Lakeland patient, listed only as “HK” in a lawsuit filed with Hillsborough County Circuit Court.

Each time they two had sex, documents say, the doctor would bill her Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance for their “sessions.”

Text messages show that the 49-year-old doctor told his patient, “My body felt great all over after last night. “

“I wish you were here in the shower with me to warm me up.”

“If I were there, I would rub you and kiss you all over.”

The doctor even referred to himself as her “Red Hot Lover,” or RHL for short.

According to the original article, no charges have been filed with the State Attorney’s office, despite this type of behavior being a felony.  Ken Kramer, a researcher for the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, goes as far to call this psychiatric rape.

I didn’t know what psychiatric rape was, let alone that it existed.  To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure.  Mental Health Abuse gives a vague definition, basically stating that it’s a type of sexual assault that results from the empowered person, typically a mental health professional, taking advantage of the weakened mental state of the victim, typically a patient of the rapist.

I’m at a loss on this one, LAID Nation.  I think I’ve said my piece on rape here–it seems to be my go-to topic right now–but I’m completely flabbergasted by this issue.  There are just so many things wrong with this situation that I don’t know where to start, so I’m going to leave it up to you.

1.  Have you ever heard of psychiatric rape?

2.  Is this guy a giant douche for taking advantage of his patient like that (let’s not ever mention his self-moniker)?

3.  How about the medical fraud piece (charging her insurance every time they had sexual contact)?

4.  Do you think charges should be filed with the State Attorney General’s office?  Why or why not?

-Kathryn K

If you live outside of Toronto, you’ve probably never heard of Adam Giambrone.  If you live in Toronto, he’s probably all you’ve heard about for the last few days.

I’m sick to death of looking at this guy’s face.

Quick recap: Adam Giambrone is the chairman of the Toronto Transit Commission (Toronto’s public transit system), and until yesterday he was running to be the next mayor of Toronto.  Following accusations that he had an affair, Giambrone apologized in a Toronto Star article earlier this week for having an “inappropriate relationship with a young woman” (he slept with a twenty-year old college student) while he was in a long-term relationship.  He later admitted to having several affairs with various women, and yesterday he dropped his campaign for mayor.  One candidate has now said that he thinks Giambrone should step down from the TTC as well, since he is clearly distracted.  (The National Post has a more in-depth recap)

Quite frankly, I doubt Giambrone would have been voted mayor anyway, since the TTC’s getting such bad press these days, but that’s not the issue here.  I want to know when someone’s sex life started having such a huge influence on their professional life. Read more »

“Baby we’re in love, so it’s only right that we make love” said my 17 year old “boyfriend”.

“But why should we have to ‘make love’ if we already have it?” said the 14 year old me.

This was my first “sex talk”.

He kissed me with the deceit of a serpent’s tongue. Entranced by “I love you’s” and misguided by his words, I surrendered my cherished fruit. Need I say more?

Can someone please explain to me the whole birds and the bees thing? I don't get it.

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I was doing some of my daily news reading when I ran across a story that literally made my mouth drop open in surprise.  A U.S. Marine arranged for a man to break into his ex-girlfriend’s home and rape her.

Jebidiah Stipe (Casper Star-Tribune)

Yeah, that guy right up there.  His name is Jebidiah Stipe, and he allegedly posted an ad under his ex’s name in the “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist that asked for someone to break into her home and rape her.  More surprisingly, someone replied.  Twenty-six-year-old Ty McDowell coordinated the date, time, and location of the rape “fantasy” via email with Stipe, not knowing that he was about to commit a heinous crime.

On December 11, 2009, McDowell broke into the home, gagged the woman, tied her up, and raped her.

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According to a January 28, 2010, report from The Smoking Gun, two Tennessee women who had accused a man of rape admitted that they consensually had sex with him in exchange for a pack of cigarettes.  Their excuse for doing so?  They “didn’t enjoy the sex.”  Read the full article here.

There are many things wrong with this, including the fact that the man may be considered to have been soliciting sex, but I’d like to focus on the false rape charges.  In the United States, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.  Women in college are four times more likely to be sexually assaulted.  On top of that, only 40% of sexual assaults are ever reported to the police.  When false charges are made, not only are those numbers skewed, but the accuser also downplays the very-real plights of the sexually assaulted [1].

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Is this book too scandalous for your school?

Knowledge is power! I mean except of course, if we are not talking about sexual savvy because in that case, knowledge is: evil, sinful, and dangerous in the hands of anyone under 21.

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This is the message that the Menifee, California, school district is sending to members of their community and their students after pulling all Merriam-Webster Dictionaries off of their shelves because these books contain words like “oral sex.” Since removing the dictionaries last week, the school board has begun to form a committee that will formally vote on whether the ban will be permanent.

The Menifee ban on Merriam-Webster has sparked an explosion of responses on the net from each side: parents who agree that any and all sexual words are unwelcome on bookshelves, even if they exist within an English language resource as vital as a dictionary; and critics who are ashamed to see adults in positions of authority so fearful of sexual discussion they would rob their students of dictionaries to make the “problem” go away. These critics wonder, after the dictionary, what could possibly be next for those who believe banning books makes educational sense?

The ban feels so ridiculous, I know some people have laughed at the thought of it, but unfortunately the joke is on our youth, who once again will be let down by an outdated system that refuses to address its students’ dire need for in-class sexual education and honest discussion. Read more »

I don’t know how many of you visit FailBlog.org (it’s hilarious, BTW), but for those of you that don’t, here’s something that surfaced this past week:

What disturbs me isn’t the question, although that’s not too comforting.  It’s the answer.  Seriously?  An “infinite loop” of pregnant fetuses?

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DISCLAIMER: This post is the exclusive opinion of the author and does not reflect the opinion of the United States, the United States Department of Defense, or the United States Army.  Additionally, the above photo is credited to ABC News (Photo Illustration).

So, that post that I wrote about pregnant soldiers getting court-martialled?  This is a BIG DEAL on Capitol Hill right now, to the point that Maj. Gen. Cucolo, the commander of Multi-National Division-North, has spoken up about it.  Here’s a small excerpt from the ABC World News report:

“I regret that the term court martial is bandied about or mentioned,” Cucolo said from Iraq in a conference call. “I do not ever see myself putting a soldier in jail for this.”

Pregnant soldiers are immediately redeployed out of combat zones to bases where they can get comprehensive medical care.

“The true purpose behind this is to cause them to pause and think about, ‘Okay wait a minute. It was written in the order and I’m going to leave my team. I’m going to leave an outfit shorthanded,’” Cucolo said.

Cucolo said that he was not surprised by the reaction and intense interest in his general order, but that those outside the military may not be able to fully understand his motivation.

For the entire article, click here.

I’m pretty sure this is the last time you’ll hear from me on this topic, readers, since it seems to be resolving itself.  However, the entire issue does raise one particular question for me: is this indicative of an attitude against women serving in the military, permeating even the highest ranks?

Read more »

DISCLAIMER: This post is the exclusive opinion of the author and does not reflect the opinion of the United States, the United States Department of Defense, or the United States Army.  Additionally, the servicemembers pictured are in no way affiliated with this post.

This morning, under the foot and a half of snow that dumped itself on the American Northeastern and Mid-Atlantic states, my husband told me that the U.S. Army is now court-martialling* pregnant soldiers.

WTF?!

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Every human being has a sexual orientation based on their sexual preference. This is known to be a common knowledge fact; however, some knowledge has been left out of the common audience’s education on human sexuality.  In a quest to understand sexual preference and orientation, one major piece of the puzzle has been left out: Asexuality. 

Asexuality is just as much a sexual orientation as homosexuality or heterosexuality, but much resistance has been shown to the concept of asexuality as an orientation and/or sexual preference. This community is as real as the LGBTQ community or the heterosexual community, but has been met with resistance because of the dominating mindsets of today. In a world so centered on the human sexual experience, today’s society has a hard time understanding that a sexual orientation can be based on the preference of no sexuality needed.

Sexual orientation is based on one’s own sexual preference; therefore, asexuality is just as much a sexual orientation as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Why? Because asexuality is centered on a sexual preference that lacks or has no desire for sexual activity.

Read more »

David Jay is the founder of Asexuality.org (also known as AVEN). The young man identifies as a bi-asexual person, and has created the largest internet community for asexual visibility. I will be interviewing him today and posting another article on the LaidtheBook.com website soon. In the mean time, I thought I would share with you his interview on the U.S. hit talk show: The View.

Enjoy,

-Cristina Marrero

photo by Shannon T. Boodram

Oh it’s the same ol’ thing. I haven’t been a teenager for 14 years and teen sexuality is still the same.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve seen or read this same response over the past week. For real so you grew up with the net and know what it’s like to type in “teenager” to be greeted with thousands of porn pics? And I bet you also knew what Viagra was by the time you were 8. And of course video girls of the 70’s and 80’s are dressed the same as today

It’s different. How different? By the time at boys are 12 90% of them will have watched online porn. Spam e-mail account for 78% of all e-mail sent and 19& of that is porn/ viagra related. You can watch a 3 some on cable prime time TV (Gossip Girl) and see naked pics of your fav celeb with ease.

On the other hand I’m not sure if sex in our time is as “Slack” as people portray it either. I’m not sure if sexting, rainbow parties, rampant unprotected hookups, threesomes, shag bracelets and other media buzz words are the big issue. To me the real problem is that with all of the sexual messages that we are bombarded with each day, there is not an equal effort to teach 1) how to sift through what’s honest and what’s b.s. 2) How to actually find out what kind of sex life will work for you specifically. I do however think we are doing a good job about being more open to talk about sex and in taking an interest in how to be good at it (see that amazing Trey Songz video for proof! though I do think many people need to go back to the basics to get a more in depth lesson on anatomy) . So with that I ask you:

1. Do you think teen sexuality has changed at all over the past decades?
2. What do you think this generation is doing right? Wrong?

Shannon – let’s talk about sex baby - Boodram

Josey Vogels is someone I admire and someone who has guided me a lot along my sexual-educating-way. She is putting together an anthology. Josey is a household name with several published books by both Penguin and Harper and Collins. She is extremely influential and one of the most celebrated sexual educators across North America. If you are a writer, I really think you should consider submitting, here is the message she passed on to me that I’d like to share with you:

I’m working on my next book and looking for personal stories from couples. I’m wondering if you’d be willing to send the following call for submissions out to your network.
Best,
Josey

Looking for your stories!
Canadian sex columnist and author Josey Vogels (joseyvogels.com) is looking for personal stories from couples for her next book. If you have funny, serious or touching anecdotes or stories in any of the following categories, please send them to: letters@joseyvogels.com. Names and identities will be changed upon request.
Most memorable:
Seduction by your partner.
Kiss from your partner.
Massage
Oral sex
Intercourse
Sexual position
Anal sex
Sexual fantasy (either acted upon or not)
Roleplay
Experimentation with sex toys
Extreme play (bondage, spanking, sensation play)
Spiritual encounter (through breathing, touch, Tantric practices,)

Shannon - hope this helps somebody - Boodram

I took a moment to put my macho aside and watched this “chick flick” and found myself reflecting on some of the onscreen caricatures. To think a “red blooded” male watching a fluff film for subtext, symbolism and insight??? Crazy I know, but it happened… and the scary part is that I found some…

…So check it…one of the women in the film is hopelessly seeking love and meaning in every Tom, Dick and dummy she meets, and while I would love to say that this caricature was overdone, sadly,  it was not… I’ve met a number of girls similar to that and shake my head every time.  High Love and Sex IQ is not innate – I get it… some of us are just better at it than others, but why do so many women “give up the goods quickly” with expectations of forever, get upset when love is unrequited, without first:

(1) reasonably communicating intentions so guys can: a) run; or b) buyin to your dream?

(2) conditioning the mind and heart to accept the first few interactions for what they are; part of the courtship dance?(confining hopes and dreams until you have more data on the dude you are considering sleeping with too soon)

Sorry to sound preachy, but you know when you watch a cheesy horror flick and  the monster is right behind the next door and you yell at the screen…  Always so easy to give advice when you’re not in the situation…

In my opinion the film falls short in that they justify this character’s self destructive approach with the cliche “better to have loved and lost… than never to have loved at all” when what women may want to take away from it is “he’s just not that into you, and he’ll take it and run if you let him.” So maybe it’s better to dig a bit and read the signs, no matter how cute, buff, rich, athletic, temporarily attentive he may be.

To all those girls who do their homework and still get burned we’ll talk about this another time….

girls… guys don’t “feel” anything in the beginning … we just “appreciate” the physical attributes you allow us access to.

–Chris

So I returned home after an incredible interview from Maclean’s Magazine’s Anne Kingston, to see this in my inbox:

Cody describes his first real-life ejaculate-to-the-face finale like this: “It was the happiest moment of my young life. There is just something about blowing a load in a chick’s face that makes you feel like a man.”

It’s an excerpt from Details Magazine’s article, HOW INTERNET PORN IS CHANGING TEEN SEX. Funny enough one of the key topics Anne wanted to talk about was that very question: Is Internet porn changing youth sexuality? A fan of LAID had sent this article to me and I suggest you read it to, it’s quite interesting.

I speak briefly on how porn influenced my sexual perception in my teens in LAID but I’m curious how it altered yours. You don’t have to speak from personal experience if you’d rather not you can just mention in general, how you think porn is impacting teen sex today.