Yes, that's a sparkly vaj.

Thanks to Jennifer Love Hewitt and her announcement concerning her sparkly lady-bits, Vajazzling is becoming a hot new trend in cosmetic maintenance.  And yes, “Vajazzling” is exactly what it sounds like: BeDazzling your vagina.

There’s an ongoing debate about the amount of babescaping your should perform on your hoo-ha, both in the single and married communities.  The bottom line is that you should do what’s most comfortable for you, but why is this even a debate?  Why are women (and some men) so worried about the state of their pubic hair that there’s even a discussion in the first place?

The fact that there’s a debate makes young women more aware of their vaginas and more self-conscious about the state of them.  In addition to worrying about weight, skin tone, clothing, accessories, and all those other things they worry about when trying to attract a mate, they now have to ask themselves, “Will he like my lady business, or is it too hairy for him?”  With Vajazzling, I have to ask if self-maintenance questions will soon include something along the lines of, “Should I get some decoration down there?”

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Written by Kaycee Jane author of Frog or Prince? the smart girl’s guide to boyfriends

When people read Laid: Young People’s Experiences with Sex in an Easy-Access Culture, author Shannon Boodram hopes they will learn rather than judge.

One thing I learned was that the difference between a positive and negative hookup experience lies in the same things that make for a healthy relationship. It may be hard to believe that a positive hookup and a healthy relationship would have much in common, but they do.

Two stories from the book illustrate the point. In “The Lido Deck,” by Laurence Anthony, a guy meets a hot girl on a cruise ship. He describes his sexual experience: “Our lips met over and over again… We looked at each other and once I pushed inside, we didn’t stop until every position was explored … It was the cuddling, the spooning, and the honesty that came with it. It all felt natural and oddly comfortable.

In Shannon Boodram’s own story, “Lane 2,” a girl meets a hot guy away competing at a track meet in Hungary. She describes her sexual experience: “I could feel his body stiffening inside mine, and I held tighter, not prepared to let him go just yet. …All of a sudden he yanked free of my grasp and rushed out of my body…‘I think I got out in time’. ‘No! I don’t think you did!’ ‘Sorry’. Now what? Alex glanced at his Timex. ‘It’s almost one. The bus will be leaving soon, and the coaches are going to get angry. . .’”

A hookup is a way to get your physical needs met—to desire and to be noticed with no strings, no commitment. You can hook up once or many times with the same person. And you can get any sex you desire, from kissing to intercourse. Of course, a hookup means different things to different people depending on what they’re shopping for. Laurence was shopping for “we’re not going to be together forever” sex, caring, pleasure, and spooning. Shannon wasn’t sure—maybe love, maybe a long distance relationship, maybe sex? Read more »

I read a really disturbing report a few days ago concerning a Tampa, Florida, doctor and one of his patients.  Here’s a small excerpt:

Dr. Daniel R. Lerom is listed in documents as having a long-standing sexual relationship with his Lakeland patient, listed only as “HK” in a lawsuit filed with Hillsborough County Circuit Court.

Each time they two had sex, documents say, the doctor would bill her Blue Cross Blue Shield Insurance for their “sessions.”

Text messages show that the 49-year-old doctor told his patient, “My body felt great all over after last night. “

“I wish you were here in the shower with me to warm me up.”

“If I were there, I would rub you and kiss you all over.”

The doctor even referred to himself as her “Red Hot Lover,” or RHL for short.

According to the original article, no charges have been filed with the State Attorney’s office, despite this type of behavior being a felony.  Ken Kramer, a researcher for the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, goes as far to call this psychiatric rape.

I didn’t know what psychiatric rape was, let alone that it existed.  To be honest, I’m still not entirely sure.  Mental Health Abuse gives a vague definition, basically stating that it’s a type of sexual assault that results from the empowered person, typically a mental health professional, taking advantage of the weakened mental state of the victim, typically a patient of the rapist.

I’m at a loss on this one, LAID Nation.  I think I’ve said my piece on rape here–it seems to be my go-to topic right now–but I’m completely flabbergasted by this issue.  There are just so many things wrong with this situation that I don’t know where to start, so I’m going to leave it up to you.

1.  Have you ever heard of psychiatric rape?

2.  Is this guy a giant douche for taking advantage of his patient like that (let’s not ever mention his self-moniker)?

3.  How about the medical fraud piece (charging her insurance every time they had sexual contact)?

4.  Do you think charges should be filed with the State Attorney General’s office?  Why or why not?

-Kathryn K

When I was 15 I had an experience with an ex girlfriend that is non to pleasant. I was young, naïve, and… I was innocent. She took that innocence from me. I mention it every now and again, but I don’t really talk about it in detail. It was date rape. There were no drugs, but she made me feel like there was no other option. As an adult I look back and think of everything I could have done to get out of that situation. I criticize myself and sometimes blame myself, but then I remember… I was a kid. I was 15 with no experience and a fear of this person who liked me not liking me anymore… hating me even. She was a manipulator and she manipulated my emotions in a way that made me feel as if I had no way out.

Why am I telling you this? Because this explains a lot about who I am. How I treat women, how I view myself, and how I treat others. It’s my dirty little secret, and I think I need to talk about it in an open forum.

See, I call myself a gentledyke because I am not a man, but I act like a gentleman… thus the term “gentledyke.” I treat women with respect. I look into their eyes, and I look at them. I try my best to keep my hands to myself, and I do my best to never cross a line. Some people think me a prude because of this, but there are reasons behind why I am like this. I never want to make a woman feel how I felt in that moment, or how I felt when I was with my first girlfriend.

She was verbally abusive, manipulative, self-centered, whore and an emotional wreck. Honestly, I don’t even know why I was ever with the bitch whore in the first place. She treated me like shit and put me in situations I did not want to be in. It was like she had this sick spell over me, and I desperately wanted out, but could not find the door.

She was the one who made me feel like a whale, and since then I have had issues with body image. She was the one who told me I was not good enough and should not try…crushing my fragile self-esteem… she was my first, and she was a nightmare from hell. Since my first girlfriend it has been a battle to find my inner strength and to believe in the one person who deserves my faith most… myself.

I am a gentledyke and a respectful girlfriend because I was shown exactly what not to be. This pours over into my friendships. I am a nurturer because I don’t want people to feel bad. I am sincere because I never want to make someone feel how she made me feel. She crushed me, and ever since that bitch I have fought to overcome the insecurities she placed in me because she could not fix them in herself.

This has been something that has just been quiet too long. I was 15. I was young. I was, by definition, innocent…if this happened now, it would be a different story, but back then… I had just found out what a blow job was and how lesbians had sex months before. It was an overwhelming drowning feeling, and if you are feeling that in a relationship… I hope this makes you realize you should get out. Your mental health comes first.

I promised myself I would never go back to someone like that. I promised myself I would never treat anyone like that. I would never make someone feel like I did, or put a woman in the situation I was in. I promised myself I would not let her keep me down, and so far I have done well, but every now and again I slip. I hold back, doubt myself, or sell myself short. I hope this makes you understand me a bit better, and I hope that this makes someone in a similar situation see that they should just get out and move on.

Now I am with someone I know would never put me in such a situation and who cares about me for who I am. She does not want me in her life because she needs a punching bag, and she does not treat me like shit. I don’t know what will come of it, but I know it’s not like that whore bitch I dated back when I was 15. These posters around campus are cheesy but true… what really matters is that when someone says “stop” you don’t keep going or try to change the statement… you just do it. You stop.

These experiences have a very negative and intense effect on a person’s lives, but they can also be a learning experience of what not to be, and how not to treat people. I learned, and I hope you learn too.

-Cristina Marrero

If you live outside of Toronto, you’ve probably never heard of Adam Giambrone.  If you live in Toronto, he’s probably all you’ve heard about for the last few days.

I’m sick to death of looking at this guy’s face.

Quick recap: Adam Giambrone is the chairman of the Toronto Transit Commission (Toronto’s public transit system), and until yesterday he was running to be the next mayor of Toronto.  Following accusations that he had an affair, Giambrone apologized in a Toronto Star article earlier this week for having an “inappropriate relationship with a young woman” (he slept with a twenty-year old college student) while he was in a long-term relationship.  He later admitted to having several affairs with various women, and yesterday he dropped his campaign for mayor.  One candidate has now said that he thinks Giambrone should step down from the TTC as well, since he is clearly distracted.  (The National Post has a more in-depth recap)

Quite frankly, I doubt Giambrone would have been voted mayor anyway, since the TTC’s getting such bad press these days, but that’s not the issue here.  I want to know when someone’s sex life started having such a huge influence on their professional life. Read more »

“Baby we’re in love, so it’s only right that we make love” said my 17 year old “boyfriend”.

“But why should we have to ‘make love’ if we already have it?” said the 14 year old me.

This was my first “sex talk”.

He kissed me with the deceit of a serpent’s tongue. Entranced by “I love you’s” and misguided by his words, I surrendered my cherished fruit. Need I say more?

Can someone please explain to me the whole birds and the bees thing? I don't get it.

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Desi Magazine did a cover story on LAID. The article includes myself, my mother plus another East Indian mother and daughter. It kind of bothers me when articles put so much focus on me losing my virginity BUT there are great nuggets in here and well worth a read. PLUS there are glowing endorsements for the book.

READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE.

Shannon T. Boodram

I was doing some of my daily news reading when I ran across a story that literally made my mouth drop open in surprise.  A U.S. Marine arranged for a man to break into his ex-girlfriend’s home and rape her.

Jebidiah Stipe (Casper Star-Tribune)

Yeah, that guy right up there.  His name is Jebidiah Stipe, and he allegedly posted an ad under his ex’s name in the “Casual Encounters” section on Craigslist that asked for someone to break into her home and rape her.  More surprisingly, someone replied.  Twenty-six-year-old Ty McDowell coordinated the date, time, and location of the rape “fantasy” via email with Stipe, not knowing that he was about to commit a heinous crime.

On December 11, 2009, McDowell broke into the home, gagged the woman, tied her up, and raped her.

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