Baby Kirschner at 20 Weeks

It’s a girl!

I want to share this with you not only because Hubby and I are THRILLED to pieces about adding to our family, but also to remind you that sex is a wonderful thing!  It brings new life into the world, new lives that will replace us on this planet and will hopefully live their lives to the fullest.

Of course, if you’re not ready to parent these new lives, please practice safer sex or abstain from sex all together.  Parenting is a HUGE responsibility, and if you’re not ready for it, then no one will be happy.  Trust me on this one.

Again, sex is a wonderful thing.  Use it wisely!

- Kathryn K

P.S.  This is the last time you’ll see ultrasounds from me.  I know this isn’t a mommy blog!

According to a January 28, 2010, report from The Smoking Gun, two Tennessee women who had accused a man of rape admitted that they consensually had sex with him in exchange for a pack of cigarettes.  Their excuse for doing so?  They “didn’t enjoy the sex.”  Read the full article here.

There are many things wrong with this, including the fact that the man may be considered to have been soliciting sex, but I’d like to focus on the false rape charges.  In the United States, 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime.  Women in college are four times more likely to be sexually assaulted.  On top of that, only 40% of sexual assaults are ever reported to the police.  When false charges are made, not only are those numbers skewed, but the accuser also downplays the very-real plights of the sexually assaulted [1].

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Is this book too scandalous for your school?

Knowledge is power! I mean except of course, if we are not talking about sexual savvy because in that case, knowledge is: evil, sinful, and dangerous in the hands of anyone under 21.

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This is the message that the Menifee, California, school district is sending to members of their community and their students after pulling all Merriam-Webster Dictionaries off of their shelves because these books contain words like “oral sex.” Since removing the dictionaries last week, the school board has begun to form a committee that will formally vote on whether the ban will be permanent.

The Menifee ban on Merriam-Webster has sparked an explosion of responses on the net from each side: parents who agree that any and all sexual words are unwelcome on bookshelves, even if they exist within an English language resource as vital as a dictionary; and critics who are ashamed to see adults in positions of authority so fearful of sexual discussion they would rob their students of dictionaries to make the “problem” go away. These critics wonder, after the dictionary, what could possibly be next for those who believe banning books makes educational sense?

The ban feels so ridiculous, I know some people have laughed at the thought of it, but unfortunately the joke is on our youth, who once again will be let down by an outdated system that refuses to address its students’ dire need for in-class sexual education and honest discussion. Read more »

No drug ever got me as high
as being sixteen and having everyone
look at me.

It’s comforting
to have someone know you
and love you for who you are, inside,
but it’s painful to watch yourself become
too familiar, a song you used to worship
until it got so overplayed.

Some days I long to put aside
the cultivated convictions of my tasteful twenties,
paint my face in toxic colour,
waste time on my hair, vote
for consumerism with my dollars
and chase cheap thrills,
instant gratification.  Pretend
the world is still as simple
as it was in high school.

A teenage girl modeling her first “grown-up” outfit;
thank God we don’t live in the 1800s.

My sexuality and self of sense has evolved an enormous amount in the past decade, and I cherish that, but sometimes I miss how exciting and carefree things used to be.  I’ve been in a happy, long-term relationship for almost nine years now, but I’ve always struggled a little with the idea of committing my body and my sexuality to one person.  Sometimes I miss when it was just mine and I could do whatever I wanted with it.

What do you miss about your sexuality or life as it was in high school?  What do you appreciate about the way it’s evolved?

Shayla Duval

I’m not sure if you have ever heard of feministing.com BUT it’s one of the most popular sites on the net – dead serious check their credentials. Jessica Valenti is the founder and she also happens to be a fellow Seal Press author. She and I made contact after I made a certain stalker-fan video for her, then a few months later here we are with my biggest online interview to date!

And the stalker video that began it all…

So it begins with a dream. I would love to have the topic of “oversharing and sex ed” on The Tyra Show before it goes off of the air. It may be a long shot but it’s a good thing I packed my nine iron.

You can help by tweeting to Tyra @tyrabanks that you’d like to #getlaidontyra. Hopefully eventually she’ll ask what the hell that means then we’ll hit her with the pitch!

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In a shameful bout of weakness, I started watching Jersey Shore last week.

I know, judge me.

For some reason, I got sucked in.  I think  that’s partially because of just the inane drama of it all, but also because that show has more sound bites per minute than any other show that I’ve ever watched.  Seriously, if you don’t watch it, you can probably still quote some of it because it is all over the Internet and American culture.

One particular sound bite that jumped out at me was from Episode 7:

“… but if I had to have sex with one person here, it would probably be him, ‘cause I know he’s a nice guy; he’s got to be clean.” ~Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, “Jersey Shore,” Season 1, Ep. 7

Despite my sarcasm and snarkiness in my last post, I’m actually not going to tear Snookers here a new one.  Her reasoning is the same used by many sexually active people out there, and I think it’s really important to emphasize that nice guys (and girls) can have STIs.  Remember that post that I wrote about the girl that got herpes from the first guy she had sex with?  She’s probably a nice girl—she’s only had sex with one guy.  And now she has herpes, and she’ll have it for the rest of her life.

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I don’t know how many of you visit FailBlog.org (it’s hilarious, BTW), but for those of you that don’t, here’s something that surfaced this past week:

What disturbs me isn’t the question, although that’s not too comforting.  It’s the answer.  Seriously?  An “infinite loop” of pregnant fetuses?

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Every new year, people make the typical resolutions, to eat less, exercise more, be able to fit into your high school jeans, and find your true love, because, what better time to rely on cupid for that potent arrow, then then new year. You figure that  if cupid would just get off his ass, and shoot the guy/girl that you been lusting over, he/she will fall in love you with you and you’ll run off together to buy a house, get a dog and start a family.

Simple right?

But what if the person you love, is shot by cupid and they do fall in love….. with someone else.

all this romantic mumbo jumbo seems to be washed away by a self hate because you know the reason this person is in love; everything you see is “store bought” as my friends like to say.

and it’s not even so much a self hate as it is loathing, because you know that you’ll never look like that.

Nor do I want to.

I have been working on loosing weight, the right way. No diet pills, watching what I eat, and exercising M-F, so that way when the weekend comes around, i can enjoy a 6-pack and not feel the slightest bit bad.

It’s the little things that make me smile.

But, when you prance yourself in front of everyone with a hinted vanity screaming “Look at me! Look at me!” I don’t want to look at you and I’m saddened by the realization that the reason cupid shot his arrow into the other person, is because they belong together.

Vanity meet shallow.

Shallow meet vanity.

Here’s a rowboat, I’m sure you can paddle your way into the depths of love’s ocean.

I’m not biter though. Just sad and  disappointed because the person i thought existed was really wearing a mask in front of me the whole time. If you can’t be yourself in front of your friends, you never will be. You simply float your way through life as  memory of a time that once was.

So my resolution this year, is to continue focusing on my own self improvement. There is nothing wrong with having life goals and making sure that you achieve them. I just wish cupid wasn’t so damn clever.

–Carla

There is a mention of LAID in today’s Toronto Star. It’s little but still lovely.

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Sexting and Nude Photost A Concern Among Teens
by: Nicole Baute

Some are worried about the gender politics behind sexting, like Shannon Boodram, a local 24-year-old who recently published her first book, Laid. She says it’s usually young women who send sexts, not men – except, perhaps, as encouragement.

Last summer, a guy she was chatting with online wanted her to send him naked photos of herself, and tried to persuade her with some sexy photos of his own.

“I was like, `Never!’” Boodram says. “And I would get more rude with every response I got. He was so persistent.”

If you ask Boodram, sexting is a pornographic way for girls to give their power away.

“I think it’s a really stupid trend and it all (links) together with shag bracelets, which indicate how far you’re going to go with somebody, and with rainbow parties and those … sexual trends that are basically geared toward emulating a pornographic lifestyle,” Boodram says. “And they’re not realistic, they do not result in pleasure, it’s submissive behaviour and I fail to see the point.”

Read the full article here

On a sidenote, I’m not quite sure what this means: “sexting is a pornographic way for girls to give their power away,” so I can’t say I agree with that but I do like the rest of it.

Shannon T. Boodram

Please do me a favour and head to:citytv.com/toronto/citynews/life/health/article/67040—laid-a-compilation-of-real-sex-stories-for-young-people hit “Recommend” at the top, Thanks

So this article is actually all thanks to my mom. She wrote every single person at City until one wrote back and said she would look at Laid to consider it for an online story. Well, VIOLA! Here is the online story I have actually been harassing City to do a news piece about the book but I’ve had no success thus far. I think if the story does well online I will have a much better chance so please click the link and recommend it! Now you can click more to read the story Read more »

Time for some honesty here. My entire life, and I mean as far back as I can possibly remember, I haven’t felt good about me. Other girs they had better hair, they were thinner, funnier, bigger eyes, smaller hips, they got the boys. So after breaking up with what is now known as my first love, I did what any girl with very little self esteem, and very little self respect would do… What is that you may ask? I went out and got attention. In anyway possible. I had just turned 18 and where I am from that means bars, drinking, partying and fun. This one night a friend of mine and I went out. Now there are still those other girls those for lack of a better word better girls. I saw them then, what I also saw was this guy. With no exaggeration he was HOT I mean smoking hot, I wanted him, so that is what I spent the night trying to get. Being persistent and stubborn that is what I got. Now I will also say that  I often had to drive home, so not only was I stubborn, I was sober. I had a friend with me so me her and my new prize left the bar and dropped her off at home. He Ran his hand up my thigh and I knew that we both knew tonight was going somewhere. I would do anything he asked, after all I was the girl that he left with, the one he chose. I wanted him to want me and he did. Read more »

I will never forget when I lost my virginity, either time. To be honest it’s a grey area for me, no I was not drunk or high. I was well in a relationship with a transgender for 4 years of my life. I was in high school, I fell in love. It was an interdependent love but it was mine. So this boyfriend of mine wasn’t fully equipt we still had sexual encounters, and well that could be how I lost my virginity. If you count sex as the intimate act or being together, but if you look it up and follow the real definition then things change. If we are going with my first time with a penis involved well then I suppose I lost it to a guy I met in a bar. Not the night I met him but about a month later. He was from a town 2 hours south of where I live, I went there to party. So for a month we chatted online via the phone texted you know the long distance flirting. I had friends near him so when one was having a birthday I let him know. He so nicely said I could stay with him. We had sex in his dirty little apartment, he wore ripped boxers and after I felt dirty. So ended that. See I didn’t think it was a big deal because I had my other intimate moments and those were better, special even. So no matter what the case I am not a virgin. Especially since I have had my fair share of sex since then. Wonder what happened to my love the transgender lets call him Steven, well we broke up and got back together like any good over dramatic couple. Then we got engaged moved in together and well broke up again. I am glad really very glad, he has a new girlfriend now no doubt they will get married. She seems good for him something I wasn’t. Read more »