Humanity assumes on a daily basis. We assume and make asses of ourselves, and not necessarily others. Until recently, I assumed all individuals were sexual. This is not true. In a world where sex dominates the media streams, it is easy to forget that sex is not everything. I have had the great privilege of meeting an individual who has reminded me of this fact. While he wishes to remain anonymous, my friend has granted me a peek inside his mind.
If you have not figured out what I am talking about, let me clarify: I am talking about asexuality. I will not presume to be an expert on the subject, nor will he, but I will attempt to bring you a glimpse of a world, we sexual beings, rarely have a chance to see. A world where physical aesthetics and sex do not dominate one’s life. In fact, sex plays no great part in this individuals mind other than it being a curious phenomenon.
This interview is not a representation of all asexual individuals, but rather, a glimpse into the mind of one asexual being. Just as I can not represent every lesbian on the face of the planet, neither can he represent every asexual person. Asexuality is as diverse as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Just as there is not one way to be homosexual, there is not one way to be asexual, and there are several classifications within the asexual community. I will be doing follow up blogs on the asexual community with more facts and scientific info, but for now, I would like to put a real human face (anonymous or not) on the term asexuality.
CM: What is asexuality in your own words?
ANON: I like the clinical definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction. But the working definition is that identities are based on actions and so identifying as asexual would mean that you do not pursue sex. How much of your life have you spent attempting to find a girlfriend/boyfriend? And that is all the free time I have to juggle, and unicycle, and rock climb, scuba dive, or whatever the hell else I do: I have forgotten. Oh, and the casual swearing.
CM: So, no sex whatsoever?
ANON: Preferably.
The boy means it. To him, all forms of sex are equally unappealing.
CM: You said no sexual attraction, but do you have any other forms of attraction to women? Furthermore, are your attractions limited to one set standard gender identity?
ANON: Wow, that sentence really expands when you put it in politically correct terms. So, your question is in what way am I attracted to girls/boys?
CM: Yeah, that’s about right.
ANON: Then I am attracted to girls, in much the same way as others are attracted to friends. People I get along with, share common interest, think somewhat similarly… yeah that ends the list. Perhaps I should note, while I am not sexually attracted to women, I do find certain ones aesthetically appealing. For comparison: Have you ever met an art work you’ve ever wanted to have sex with?
CM: Well, I do have a few friends who have crushes on Disney characters.
As the conversation went on, I came to understand what he meant. His attraction is similar to an art collector’s admiration of a masterpiece. While the art collector doses not want to sleep with the work of art, they can still appreciate its beauty.
