Posting tweet...
Shannon - no dead serious, have you bought a copy yet (just lie to me dammit) - Boodram
Right now, I am pissed at the words “too gay.” I am pissed that they can be uttered from the LGBTQ community. I am pissed at a trend I keep on seeing. I am pissed that no one else seems to see it. We want equal rights and equality, but that does not mean we have to conform in order to get them.
We chant words like “We’re here, we’re queer, and we aren’t going anywhere,” but do we have the courage to chant such cries for equality and complete acceptance/tolerance when we are not at rallies with like minded individuals? Will we represent all the members of our communities, and not just the some that will blend comfortably with the heterosexual community? Will we attempt to put a uniform mask on the face of the queer community, or will we embrace FULL EQUALITY IN DIVERSITY… no matter how diverse the members of a community may be?
Will our drag queens, butches, dykes, bears, ect. have to hide in a closet for our rights to be gained? OR will we stand up as a unified community of “homosexual, heterosexual, evangelical”, queer, outrageous and bland to raise, in one voice, a cry for our rights? Will we limit who can cry “what we want is equality” when our community is brought out into the light of day? I say nay! What we want is EQUALITY, for all and not just for some. It’s time to start living by “We’re here, we’re queer, and we are not going anywhere.”
I am proud of ALL the members of my LGBTQ community, as well as, all those who do not fit in with the norm, and I will never ask them to hide or censer themselves because they are thought to be “too gay.” They have a right to be as gay as they please, as long as they are not hurting anyone else. I fight for the stereotypes’ rights more than anyone else’s because they are the ones who fight the hardest battles. I fight for equality for ALL. How bout you?
This is my rant. I am done.
Miley Cyrus, Vanity Fair, April 2008. Photograph by Annie Leibovitz.
Remember the huge uproar in April 2008, when 15-year-old Miley Cyrus appeared in “Vanity Fair” wrapped in a sheet, with her right shoulder and the top of her back visible, implying that, under the sheet, she wasn’t wearing a shirt? That week, the cover of the New York Post read “Miley’s Shame,” the Christian Coalition called for the Hannah Montana star’s employer, Disney, to reprimand the teenager, and finally Miley was forced to apologize in a statement to People Magazine, saying: “I never intended for any of this to happen, and I am truly sorry if I have disappointed anyone.” The pandemonium was so huge that critics ranging from the ladies of “The View”, to Bill O’Reilly, to Miley’s fellow Disney star Joe Jonas all expressed their disapproval over what they saw as the sexualization of a child to sell magazines.
Now, with the premiere of his movie, “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” less than a month away, magazines, websites, and TV are blanketed with images of 17-year-old star Taylor Lautner, shirtless and showing off the body he trained for months to perfect for the role. And yet, none of the cultural critics who turned Miley’s photos into a full-blown “scandal” have said a word about the sexualization of Taylor, who, at 17, is just two years older than Miley was during her “scandal” and is also a minor.
I read this article last night during my evening news wind-down (read the full article here), and I thought that it provoked some interesting questions. I’m not really here to pick the issue apart and make a sweeping, immovable statement; I’m more interested in what you think.
UPDATE: okay, so I realized that i reeeallly didn’t like how I wrote this, so I’m gonna attempt to detach myself emotionally and fix it. Hopefully it works. (Happppy Bday 2 my little cuz btw. 
The Place: Trinidad and Tobago (Specifically Tobago), a small Caribbean Island Nation
This occurred while my mom and I were on vacation visiting the country where we just moved out of two years earlier.
Strong Blood.
As I sit at the edge of the shaky bed hugging her, I feel the warmth of her tears drip onto my leg. They begin to fall faster. Tears flow like rain from her cloudy eyes as they bleed through my t-shirt. My ears ring out as her little o-shaped mouth releases a thunderous bawl. The sound resonates throughout my body as I feel a shocking sensation—as if I am struck with lightning. I try to think of something comforting to say. No Such luck. At the tender age of 10, I was never taught how to console my little cousin after the death of her mom. My aunt. How do I explain to her what A.I.D.S is? How do I tell her that her “father” is the reason her mom is no longer alive? I guess I should be well prepared when it’s time to explain this to her baby sister.
Fast Forward. It’s tomorrow. Read more »
Humanity assumes on a daily basis. We assume and make asses of ourselves, and not necessarily others. Until recently, I assumed all individuals were sexual. This is not true. In a world where sex dominates the media streams, it is easy to forget that sex is not everything. I have had the great privilege of meeting an individual who has reminded me of this fact. While he wishes to remain anonymous, my friend has granted me a peek inside his mind.
If you have not figured out what I am talking about, let me clarify: I am talking about asexuality. I will not presume to be an expert on the subject, nor will he, but I will attempt to bring you a glimpse of a world, we sexual beings, rarely have a chance to see. A world where physical aesthetics and sex do not dominate one’s life. In fact, sex plays no great part in this individuals mind other than it being a curious phenomenon.
This interview is not a representation of all asexual individuals, but rather, a glimpse into the mind of one asexual being. Just as I can not represent every lesbian on the face of the planet, neither can he represent every asexual person. Asexuality is as diverse as homosexuality or heterosexuality. Just as there is not one way to be homosexual, there is not one way to be asexual, and there are several classifications within the asexual community. I will be doing follow up blogs on the asexual community with more facts and scientific info, but for now, I would like to put a real human face (anonymous or not) on the term asexuality.
CM: What is asexuality in your own words?
ANON: I like the clinical definition of asexuality. Asexuality is not experiencing sexual attraction. But the working definition is that identities are based on actions and so identifying as asexual would mean that you do not pursue sex. How much of your life have you spent attempting to find a girlfriend/boyfriend? And that is all the free time I have to juggle, and unicycle, and rock climb, scuba dive, or whatever the hell else I do: I have forgotten. Oh, and the casual swearing.
CM: So, no sex whatsoever?
ANON: Preferably.
The boy means it. To him, all forms of sex are equally unappealing.
CM: You said no sexual attraction, but do you have any other forms of attraction to women? Furthermore, are your attractions limited to one set standard gender identity?
ANON: Wow, that sentence really expands when you put it in politically correct terms. So, your question is in what way am I attracted to girls/boys?
CM: Yeah, that’s about right.
ANON: Then I am attracted to girls, in much the same way as others are attracted to friends. People I get along with, share common interest, think somewhat similarly… yeah that ends the list. Perhaps I should note, while I am not sexually attracted to women, I do find certain ones aesthetically appealing. For comparison: Have you ever met an art work you’ve ever wanted to have sex with?
CM: Well, I do have a few friends who have crushes on Disney characters.
As the conversation went on, I came to understand what he meant. His attraction is similar to an art collector’s admiration of a masterpiece. While the art collector doses not want to sleep with the work of art, they can still appreciate its beauty.
Feministing.com is one of my fav blogs, it’s always time pertinent, well-written and takes a get-off-your-ass rather than sit-and-moan approach to equality. There is something extremely cool and linked to LAID’s goal that is going down on the 28 of October in America. Check it out and get involved, I certainly will be.
October is Sex Ed Month of Action and organizers from Advocates for Youth, Catholics for Choice, Choice USA, Law Students for Reproductive Justice, NARAL, Planned Parenthood, SIECUS, Sierra Club, and Spiritual Youth for Reproductive Freedom are joining forces to tell Congress it’s time to finally get rid of failed abstinence-only programs and fund comprehensive sexuality education.
You can find information and tools for organizing a Call-In Day here. You can also sign on to a petition in support of the REAL Actwhich would authorize funding for comprehensive sexuality education.
This is a crucial moment for comprehensive sex ed. For the first time in a while we should have the support in the White House and Congress to de-fund abstinence-only programs and support real, accurate education about sex and sexuality. However, politicians in DC are continuing the same old fight despite overwhelming evidence that ab-only doesn’t work. Electing people who say they agree with us is only the first and easiest step in bringing about political change. The real hard work comes after elections, when advocates need to hold officials accountable, push them to support our issues, and create a climate where that’s the most expedient political move for them to make. The time is now: let’s finally make federal funding for comprehensive sexuality education a reality!
This was taken from: http://magazine.goodvibes.com/2009/10/12/sexual-assault-prevention-tips-guaranteed-to-work/ By Dr. Charlie Glickman
Hey it’s Shannon with a re-post but a very well-deserved one so I get a pass! When I first heard the title of this article I was instantly pissed. NOBODY should be taught how NOT to be violated. It is not your problem that someone else does not understand human respect and the word NO. But after the first tip, my tune changed. Read on and you’ll see why:
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
And, ALWAYS REMEMBER: if you didn’t ask permission and then respect the answer the first time, you are committing a crime–no matter how “into it” others appear to be.
Original camera-phone photography by me. My Homie had a super-dry-ass-condom in his wallet so I molded it into a heart and it stayed. smh. I think I'm gonna patent it and make them Valentine's day treats. It really should say "I Love You...now let's fuck"
Sex Dressed in Love’s Clothing.
I lay here on the pile of blankets. His heartbeat pulsates onto my chest like a loud stereo. I can’t help but bite my bottom lip as my eyes reflexively roll to the back of my head. My legs are uncontrollably shaking and I’ve lost total body control. Yes. The sex is that good. I open my eyes and look up to the sight of his moonlit eyes above his smile. The stars are the only eyes peeking at our every move. We endeavor in a sexual adventure—the tennis courts at 3am. It’s always been a fantasy of ours. The sky is our shelter, the moon is our night light, and the summer breeze is our oscillating fan. I admire the scenery for a moment then finally! A long-awaited euphoric feeling confiscates my body…to say the least. He whispers a convincing “I Love You” in my ear and kisses my lips as he begins to work his hips a little faster. I return these words like a serve at Wimbledon. However, I’m the only one who speaks the truth. Tonight is perfect…to the naked eye. Read more »
In this, a blog based on human sexual interactions, I thought it fitting to share this with you. In a world where our minds seem so heavily centered on sex and sexuality, we often forget the people behind the sexual masks. We also forget that some are still denied basic civil liberties and protections based on who they are sexually attracted to, and worse, we forget that, in this the 21century, our USA laws still for the most part condone such outrageous civil rights violations. On October 10-11, one of the largest marches on Washington D.C. occurred. In this historic moment, the movement once known as the gay rights movement was unveiled for what it had always been: A Civil Rights movement. Staceyann Chin’s poem represents everything the march stood for, everything the movement stands for, and everything I believe in. I hope you enjoy.
A year and three days ago, my beautiful baby girl was born at 4:02am. See, here she is:
Kathyrn's Daughter, 10/10/08
Isn’t she pretty?
OK, let’s be honest, she’s a little busted–she’s MUCH prettier now–but that’s because she had just made a very hard journey through the vaginal canal.
It’s probably a little uncomfortable to hear “vaginal canal” when you’re reading a sex blog, but you know what? Sex can lead to pregnancy, which can lead to childbirth and children. That is the reality of being sexually active. So imma take this opportunity to tell you exactly how my labor went, gory details and all.
“I may be young, but I can put it down in the bedroom.”
That was his mantra. He was 17 and I was 18. He recited these words to me with a cocksure grin and a sing-song tone almost every time after we had sex. He would strut around while he buckled his belt and I would sit quietly re-fastening my bra, flaring my nostrils and rolling my eyes behind his back.
I knew how to fake an orgasm before I knew what my clitoris was. I felt responsible for guy’s physical pleasure and put little-to-no emphasis on my own. I even acted as though a boy grabbing at my body and clumsily poking at my crotch felt good because I wanted him to feel good. And let’s not fool ourselves into believing this is merely an isolated confession from one misguided girl.
New sexual trends such as sexting (sending naked pictures through cell phones), shag bracelets (thin-plastic bracelets that indicate how far a girl is willing to go – a gold bracelet means a girl will go all the way), rainbow groups (girls wearing different coloured lipstick and all perform oral sex on males, giving them a multi-coloured penis) and girl-on-girl soft porn have only made things much worse. Female sexual empowerment has no voice amongst the new generation. I truly feel the media and the Internet encourage young girls to treat their sexuality like a grand piano – an instrument that performs only to please the pianist sitting on them. Read more »
Dear Herpes Girl,
I read your post card on this week’s Post Secret (www.postsecret.com), and I just have so many things to say to you. First, honey, WHAT were you thinking not using a condom? Using a condom properly and consistently will prevent pregnancy 97% of the time, and is the only method of contraception that protects against all sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV [1].
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt and say that you did use a condom, but that (a) dude didn’t tell you that he had herpes and (b) the outbreak was outside of the condom’s protective area. For that, I’m really sorry. He should have told you that he had herpes. And if he didn’t tell you, you should have ASKED. I know it’s uncomfortable asking someone in the heat of the moment—or anytime, really—if they have or have had any STIs, but it’s going to be a lot less uncomfortable than painful ulcerating lesions [2]. And if the outbreak was outside of the condom’s protective area, well, I don’t think there’s much you can do about that, especially considering that some outbreaks don’t have visible symptoms.
But honey, one of the most disturbing things in your note was that you wished that you’d had a chance to be a “slut” before contracting herpes. What, exactly, is a slut? Is it someone who has had multiple partners? If that’s the case, what about those people who have been in multiple monogamous sexual relationships? Are they sluts?
I’m going to venture to say no, because these are people who are sharing their bodies with a person who treasures it as much as they themselves do (or, I at least hope that’s the case). These are people that are taking measures to protect their minds, hearts, AND bodies. Being in sexual relationships is part of being an adult human being, and how far you allow that to go and with whom is your own business. Responsibility is not slutty.
On the other hand, if you’re talking about people who will sleep with near anyone and everyone without being a monogamous relationship, well, that’s a different story. But that kind of activity still doesn’t deserve a degrading name; it deserves a talking-to and maybe retaking a sex education class. As you’ve by now experienced, unprotected, risky sexual behavior is medically unsafe. It also takes its toll on you emotionally—sexual intercourse releases a hormone called oxytocin that causes you to bond with your sexual partner. If you break that bond, it becomes harder to make the next bond stick, even harder for the one after that, and so on and so forth [3]. And if you’re bed-hopping even just once a week, that gives you 52 INDIVIDUAL chances to contract something. It’s 52 times that you’ve broken that biological bond. It’s dangerous to both your heart and your body, hon. Think about that.
It pains me that in your mind, women who sleep around are automatically labeled as sluts. And yes, I say women because I’m pretty sure that your assessment doesn’t apply to men. Are men who sleep around sluts? In my mind, if we’re going to be name-calling, yes. Men who sleep with tons of women deserve to be called sluts. But does anyone deserve to be called a slut?
“Slut” is a really harmful name. It can completely shred a person’s self-esteem for no good reason. It can cause the recipient of such an insult to begin engaging in risky behavior, when before, he or she was a normal, sexual being.
I urge you to do three things, dear: one, go buy yourself a box of condoms and keep them in your purse and bedside table. I recommend Trojan 2Go for your purse; with their hard case, they’re less likely to get mangled. They can be purchased here: http://www.condom.com/trojan-2-go-ultra-thin-condoms.html. Two, get a prescription for Valtrex; it will help with preventing outbreaks, which will make your life more comfortable and help keep your future partners’ health safe. Three, please fix your attitude concerning having multiple partners. If you do, we’ll have a lot fewer broken women walking around out there.
Safe and Happy Banging,
Kathryn
1. World Health Organization, “Effectiveness of male latex condoms in protecting against pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections,” http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs243/en. Internet. Accessed on 8 October 2009.
2. World Health Organization, “Herpes virus type 2,” http://www.who.int/immunization/topics/herpes_2/en. Internet. Accessed on 8 October 2009.
3. Your Amazing Brain, “The science of love,” http://www.youramazingbrain.org/lovesex/sciencelove.htm. Internet. Accessed 8 October 2009.
When I was about 12 years old, my friends and I would play this game that we called the Penis Game. It started off with one person whispering “penis” very quietly. The next person would say it just a little bit louder, and so on and so on until someone yelled “PENIS!” at the top of his or her lungs.
Hilarious, no?
Venus at her Mirror, Diego Velazquez, 1650
The thing is, we were actually too wimpy to say the word “penis” in public, at least loudly, so we would say “Venus”—as in the Roman Goddess of Love and Beauty—instead. It still turned heads, but there was no way we could really get in trouble or embarrass ourselves because we weren’t screaming the medical terminology for male genitalia across the lunchroom.
But why should we have gotten in trouble or embarrassed ourselves, aside from being disruptive and a little obnoxious? We never got in trouble for screaming “VENUS!” at maximum volume, but if we had replaced that with “PENIS!”? Detention for sure. It wasn’t because of the loudness factor, obviously, so it had to have been because we were saying “dirty, vulgar words in polite company.”
Everyone say it with me: PEEEEEEEEEnis.
Let’s try another one: vaGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIna.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, those are the real, medical names for your bits and pieces. These are terms that my kids know and use—well, the baby isn’t talking yet—but my older one knows the actual names of male and female genitalia. I made it a point to teach my kids the proper terminology for men and women. Why? BECAUSE THEY’RE NOT DIRTY.
I did, however, teach them other words for use in the company of others, specifically “piggy” and “peachie-peachie.” The fact that I taught them other words for their private parts might indicate that I think that “penis” and “vagina” are dirty words, but that’s not the case. Unfortunately, we live in a society that suspends kids from school for sexual harassment if they so much as hug one another on the playground, and I know from experience that certain words are not acceptable in a classroom setting (“butt” and “booty” are the two that come to mind). I was faced with the dilemma of encouraging my kids to embrace proper terminology for genitalia and keeping them from getting in trouble with their schools. I chose to teach my kids both sets of words and to give them the skills to decide when and where to use them.
“Penis” is not dirty. “Vagina” is not dirty. And I long for the day when my kids and/or grandkids can use them in an elementary school setting without fear of retribution.
So, tell me, what do you call your genitals when referring to them in casual conversation?
“I don’t like my body.” How many times have we heard these words, or better, how many times have we caught ourselves saying them? I know I am guilty of such a statement.
I never really paid much attention to my body until I met my first girlfriend. She was not a nice person. I was only 15 when I first met her. I look back and loath the very mention of her name. My first ex was verbally abusive. She was the kind of girl that would tear you down, abuse your love, and rip any innocence remaining. I was 15, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into. The first time we were together, it only lasted a week, but in that week’s time, my first girlfriend managed to take my kissing virginity… along with almost every other virginity she could get her hands on. In that one week, she managed to shatter my spirit. After an incident—which I considered to be date rape—I broke up with her.
Though I may have ended things, she and I later found our way back to dating one another. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I did some things I am not proud of, but worst of all, I let her do some things to me, which I could never take back. I am still not ready to disclose these stories within my story. Perhaps, on another occasion; however, I will tell you one detail in the chaotic novel that is my first ex and I.
