Wonder what Michael saw in the mirror; deny our own reflections.

On June 25th, we lost the greatest entertainer to ever walk this earth.  But you’re probably tired of hearing that already; you want to be entertained further.  You want more shock and awe.  You want to bypass the good and wholesome and get to the filth.

…I think that makes YOU the filth.  Doesn’t it?

Perhaps the saddest thing about Michael’s passing is the fact that, in the face of all the good he’s done in his life, the little wrong that he MIGHT have done— I repeat, it has NEVER BEEN PROVEN— will forever be in the public eye.  Yes, I’m referring to the accusations of child-molestation.

You know, the public eye is a funny thing.  Because it sees what it wants to see before it sees what’s actually there.  I’m going to show you a magic trick.  Watch closely:

In my left hand, I hold a hotdog.  In my right hand, I hold a donut.  Now, watch closely as I stick this hotdog in the donut…

VOILA.  You’re laughing.

Now, what’s comical about sticking a hotdog into a donut?  I could do that in front of a 3-year-old, and the 3-year-old will simply ask why I’m doing it.  But in YOUR mind, the act is symbolic of sexual intercourse, so it causes YOU to burst out in (or attempt to hide) laughter.  Now, is that my fault, or your fault?  Am I guilty of performing a lewd act, or are you guilty of inserting a lewd thought into an innocent act?

In my personal belief, I think this is what we’ve seen with Michael Jackson and the child molestation allegations.  We live in a sexually-overcharged society that looks for sexuality in every facet of life and inserts sexuality into every hole in which no sexuality is meant of found (no pun intended).  And with the threat of sexual predators, it’s understandable why sexuality can’t be outright ignored.

And then there’s Michael…

Michael started performing at the age of 5.  The cost of beginning so early is that he never had a childhood.  It’s not uncommon; many of us feel we were robbed of our youth.  Many of us would recapture our childhoods if we could.  The difference is, when you’re Michael Jackson-the-greatest-selling-artist-of-all-time, you can afford to buy your childhood back!  You can buy your own theme park, trick it out with trains and animals and LIVE in it.  You can isolate yourself from the confining, demanding presence of adults.  And you can surround yourself with children and be a child again.

So, why children?  Why would a grown man— even a childlike grown man— embrace the presence of children?  Well, let’s face it: no adult is going to tolerate a grown man being a child again in their presence; heck, adults don’t even tolerate other adults going through mid-life crises.  And children tend to accept you for who you are.  They don’t know of social norms and mores that tell a man to behave a certain way at a certain age.  If Michael wanted to be the Peter Pan that his Neverland Ranch implied, he couldn’t do it around anyone but children that can believe in a real-life Peter Pan…

…Which is very ironic when you think about it.  Why?  Because Peter Pan is considered childish.  Yet, Peter Pan was written by a grown man.  As a matter of fact, all cartoons and fairytales and storybooks are written by grown-ups; to think such “childlike” things evolved from the minds of people who aren’t children!

So, let’s cut to the chase.  Michael, at 45 years old, snuggles up in bed with children.  Comes away with child molestation accusations.  No proof, no evidence, only word of mouth.  And mainly from adults who weren’t even there.  Here’s the bottom line:  it’s not for me to say whether Michael is innocent or guilty.  But it IS for me to say that WE are guilty.

Let’s talk ‘man-in-the-mirror’ for a second.  Does it not bother you that when Michael has a sleepover with children, our first instinct is to assume the worst?  I mean, with all the Peter Pan imagery, is it not sad that we don’t for one second think Michael may have just been a big kid doing what kids do and recreating Neverland?

‘Know what that says to me?  It says that, while we don’t know if there’s a child molester in Michael, there’s definitely one in the minds of everyone who assumed and maintained his guilt without just cause.  WE ARE AN ENTIRE NATION OF PEOPLE WHOSE MINDS ARE IN THE GUTTER.  AND OF THIS GUILT, WE CAN BE VERY CERTAIN.

What would be unimaginably sad to me is if Michael Jackson really was the person he claimed to be.  Imagine if we just spent the last decade trying to crucify the biggest kid on the planet.  The least malicious human being in recent memory.  One of the foremost humanitarians of the last 50 years.  The walking-talking greatest show on Earth.  I’m not trying to compare this cat to Jesus Christ by any stretch of the imagination, but God have mercy on us if we ever discover that this Peter Pan was real!

That being said, again, I’m not here to presume innocence or guilt… pertaining to Michael.  But as for us as a people, we really need to check ourselves when we’ve become so oversexed and sensationalized that the very idea of innocence becomes foreign and unfamiliar.  Even some of our young children don’t recognize the possibility of innocence in a human being anymore.  We need more Peter Pans in this world.  And I’m not talkin’ peanut butter…

-Jigabod

Michael Jackson, \”Man in the Mirror\”, 1988

I’m kinda mad at myself.. for I have yet to master this poem.  I’m doing a slam tonight so I want to try this with the actual intented flow so we’ll see. This is an open-mic performance at Acoustic Soul Tuesdays @ Trane Studios in Downtown Toronto.

Happy Official Summer Day

–DAVID DELISCA

I did it again. Countless times have I done this, but never to this extreme. I promised myself that I’d stop, but I guess I couldn’t. It just got to me. Echoes of a broken child cries inside of me. To hard to fight the urge, and I gave in. I often wonder why I carry around all this guilt. Over and over again. Repeating the act over and over again and with each slice, the release of guilt drop from my arm. To be numb no more. To feel again, sweet sensation, that’s what it feels like. Ecstasy beyond the point of no return, but sane enough to go no deeper. Thoughts run wild as tears race down my face, telling myself to remember to breath. Breath life in one way, as it seeps out another. My wounds will heal, but the pain will remains the same.

T.S.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost three years now. I have built, in my opinion, a very normal healthy, though at time awkward, relationship with his family. However due to life (read: drama) he has not gotten the opportunity to really bond with anyone one my side. But that is all going to change in two weeks. My immediate family lives in Calgary and my mother has invited both me and my boyfriend to spend the summer.

At first this was really exciting and then it brought on a bunch of questions. Questions that I don’t feel comfortable discussing with my mother. Questions like, do we have sex in the house and do we sleep in the same room, are on the top of the list. Moms has already said it was cool for us to stay in the same room, but I don’t know if that’s some sort of test. I wonder if we do if it will send a “bad” message to my two younger siblings. They are 16 and 13 so they are no dummies, I think they know we are sexually active, but one can not be too sure. My boyfriend has already said that he is against sleeping together because he wants to make a good impression on everybody and thinks it’s inappropriate for my brother and sister to see.

I, however, am on the fence.

So the topic is up for discussion. What is the proper sexual etiquette when you are staying with your inlaws (or in my case pre-inlaws)?

Jay

A hot topic with a lot of mixed emotions from many different parties. Me personally, I do not like when people try and give teens the “your life will suck ass and you will never smile again” warning in concerns to teen pregnancy. I believe the responsibility of another life can actually help and change people for the better but on the other hand I do believe girls who are having sex should be honestly educated on the sacrifices and demands that comes with being a parent. I hope this show is honest, balanced and unbiased. But apart of me feels that the ethics board would not agree to have it aired unless they felt it did a sufficient job in scaring teens out of wanting to have a baby. What do we think?

Shannon - on the fence – Boodram

What is rape?

Is it just physical forcing of sex?
Can it be a psychological control?
Do you have to be penetrated to be raped?
Can sexual rape occure when a victim is made to feel trapped and escape no longer becomes a possibility in their mind?

I know, this one is going to be deep… prepare yourselves.

I recently met someone who, I believe, has been raped. She was not physically forced to do anything, but she was psychologically manipulated into doing an act she did not really want to do. She was made to feel mentally trapped and twisted into a very emotionally complex moment, in which, she could not think of any other options. She felt trapped. I believe that feeling is the key to defining (non-medicated) rape.

   Rape:
An act of plunder, violent seizure, abuse; despoliation; violation  

Rape does not just mean being physically forced to do something. It has many meanings; however, the word that defines it best would be violation. What happens when one is raped is something far greater than any physical act. Rape leaves a deep sense of violation. A sense that something has been taken away. Rape leaves a victim feeling like something has be stolen from them, thus the word: Rape.

Rape has many different shapes and forms. When we feel deeply violated, our spirit has then been raped. When September 11th happened, a countries sense of security was violated. A country was then left feeling as if it had been raped. When a loved one is taken away by a murder or a tragic event–then do we feel raped. Rape is more than an act. Rape is the mental anguish a victim is left with. It is an abuse. As abuse can be both physical and mental… so can the thing we call rape.

It was through meeting this remarkable individual I mentioned earlier that I began to look at my past experiences. Over the years, I have met many who have been raped, but never considered myself a victim of rape. I came to realize I to had been raped–even if the law would never see it as such. I was made to believe their was no other option. I was made to feel trapped. After the act was finished–I was left with a sense of deep violation. No one did anything to me… in fact, I was the one doing the act– but I did not want to do it. At that point in time I felt there was no other option. No did not feel like a viable option. I would go tell a few friends trying to act like I was so happy I had finally done something… but then I proceeded to cry on my best friends shoulder for hours on end. Consumed in tears and this indescribable sense of violation. It would not be until I met this new friend that I would come to realize what I had been through what was a form of rape–though the law would never acknowledge it because it was between to women. (The law does not acknowledge sex between women–or tries its best not to)

This self discovery after–long, hard, honest self-examination–led to this blog. We have this violent visualization of rape, but I don’t think the rape happens so much in the act as much as it does with the dealing of what happened. It leaves you different and feeling lost, angry, confused. I would have a form of Stockholm’s syndrome with that ex of mine. I did not love her, but I was attached because of that event.

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Everyone has their secrets (takes deep breath…)

My birthday will be here in a few months (November), and for whatever reason I started think abt my life and everything that happen these pass few years. How much it was such a rollercoaster I never agreed to get on, and it was hell bent on not letting me get off without a fight. At the age of 20 I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, and it floored me. My first thoughts were “yea right, Im to young for this”, my next thought “I’m going to die”. It’s been almost 4 years since those thoughts and I must say every now and again they creep back up to the surface to haunt me. I must say the worst day of all is when my mom called me and informed me that she went to the doctor and they told her that she had it also.

You see I never opened up and told my family about my cancer. I know you’re probably thinking “why?”, but to answer that honestly, I have no clue. I’ve always been a honest and open person. So why not tell your loved ones that you’re sick? I still have no clue. I kept telling myself that I’d it when the time is right, but that time never came, or it just didn’t seem right. I mean I did try to tell my mom once, 2 years ago, but it turned into an argument bcuz my mom has a tendency to think that everything I do has something to do with her and her parenting and that I’m “punishing” her. So I decided not to say anything abt it to anyone in my family. But I told a few close friends, who I feel are my true family bcuz they’ve been thru a lot with me. But besides those 3 ppl, no one in my family knew/knows a thing. It’s kinda hard keeping a secret this big from ppl you love, and I know in due time I’ll have to suck it up and tell them the truth abt everything. Everything from my frequent hospital visits (for my chemo), medication with the labels torn off (so they wouldn’t know what type of meds I was taking), being sick majority of the time, not doing all the fun things I use to do b4 (bcuz I was to weak to do so).

My life has changed completely and I’ve since gotten better, not cured, but better. Everyday I think to myself that I should just woman-up and tell my family. But I also think that it’s my life and if this is how I choose to live it then thats my right, regardless to what anyone says. I know I’ll eventually say some thing to them…just not now.

That’s my secret (…slowly exhales).

–T.S.

This will be brief.

Those without sight see more than any one of us who have eyes to see. When we are blind to visual differences… our worldview changes. I try to be blind in all my perceptions and concepts. I think those who were born blind have more wisdom than anyone of us could ever have. They do not see color or physical differences. If they have prejudice, they have to be taught that concept.

The world is more than sex and genitalia. The world is more than romance and lovemaking. The world is more than physical differences and urges. There is a world, which has such beauty, and such wonders which we over look in this world of instant everything. Lie on the cool pavement, look up at the sky for hours with no words and watch the world fade away to night. Do this and you will know peace. Do not take a call. Do not open your laptops… just watch. Just look at the world we miss everyday with our blue tooths occupying all our time.

 How is it that we could live in such a beautiful world, and yet, we miss it with our physical obsessions? Looking up from the cool concrete, I discover I have no real control. I discover our words and classifications are useless attempts to feel some kind of power in a world, galaxy, universe that spans farther than our minds can conceive. Looking up at the world, watching it fade away, I have realized that this wondrous world, which does not request discovery, will exist long after society collapses.

There is more to life than sex. There is more to life than getting ahead and making a name for yourself. There is more to this life than playing games, competition, superficial-temporary things. There are so many bigger things in life that these things. I am not saying it is not right to enjoy them or to like experiencing these things, but it seems we become all consumed and lose sight of what matters in life.

What a world it would be if we took a moment to breath, look at the stars, and concede the power struggle/control we so desperately cling on to. This world does not request discover… it just is and will continue to be long after our wars, fights, and societal struggles tear us apart. What a world it would be if we could all see what those who are born blind see. What a world it would be if we stopped for a moment and looked deeper.

This is all opinion, but it seems to me those who see are blinder than those without sight. What a world it would be if we could truly begin to see again.

Cristina Marrero

The moral authority has always been pushing for people to wait until marriage to have sex, and I have to admit there are some good reasons to hold off: you minimize the STD risk, cut out the pregnancy risk and you know your first time will be with someone you (presumably) love and are committed to.

 Despite all of these persuasive points, I still maintain my own belief: anyone who cares about having a fulfilling sex life within their marriage should not wait until marriage to have sex.

 Marriage, for me, is about compatibility.  It’s about finding someone you can love and accept just as they are.  But how can you promise to love and honour someone if you choose to ignore a whole big chunk of their innate being until you after bind yourself to them? Read more »

‘Know what I think?  I think sex in modern day American society— because, of course, that’s all I can truly speak for— represents the wrong means towards the wrong end.  I was reading an article about men being afraid of commitment today, and one of the responses to the article was a guy saying, “We’re only after sex.”

Luckily, I’m a man, so I had the opportunity to explore the issue.  Is that really all we’re after?

As a man, I thought to myself about my own sexuality.  Contrary to popular belief, I do have sexual urges just like anyone else;  just because I’m a Christian and choose celibacy until marriage doesn’t mean I’m never tempted, nor does it doesn’t mean all of my thoughts are pure and G-rated.  Sex does matter to me.  It has mattered to me since an age I’m ashamed to admit; unfortunately, no matter how great your parents are, society doesn’t care who it exposes to sex or what age you are when it happens…

So, how much does sex matter to me?  That’s THE question of the moment.  Well, when I was younger— around middle school age— it mattered a lot.  Why?  Because it was foreign territory.  And it added a deeper level to human existence than I had ever imagined; no cartoon-watching, basketball-playing, pre-pubescent kid living out in the country imagines such things.  And once he’s exposed to it, all of a sudden, he becomes alien to his own humaity.

Then, of course, puberty kicks in— right in the middle of middle school— and EVERYTHING becomes about sex.  And alien becomes alien exploration.  But the planet’s forbidden, ya know?  At least, it’s forbidden by social constraints.  The thing is, schools tend to create their own sub-societies where the rules… get bent.  Mom and dad tell you to stay away from sex; peers tell you you need to act your age and embrace it…

[Uh... technically, my mother and father never even TOLD me about sex, but I got the impression of how it would be received in my house...]

It was at this point that it hit me:  what if the bump-and-grind of sex has little-to-nothing to do with our sex-fixations at all?  So I dug a little deeper…

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I ‘m not a father yet, but I will be one day. The notion of me having my own son or daughter has brought to me the realization that I indeed will have to engage in the “SEX TALK” conversation with them. I know I can tell them personal stories about how I was taught about sex through schooling and personal life encounters. But the real question that popped in my head was when is it age appropriate to talk about sex?

I personally think you should start at a young age. Teaching children about sex is a continuous flow of information that should be talked about sooner than later. At the toddler age which is the age range of 1-4, I would start them out learning their body and use specific terminology. As they learn their basic body parts such as nose and toes, I would include, “This is your penis or vagina.” This gives them a head start on learning the functions of their body parts and as they grow in age they will understand that they are important.  As children grow into pre-teens and teenagers, they need to know the biological facts about sex and sexual relationships. I will let them know that they involve caring, concern and responsibility. By informing them about the emotional aspects of sexual relationships they will be better informed in making harder decisions when they’re faced with peer pressure and hormonal changes within their bodies. Lastly I would give them sound examples of short term and long term consequences of having sex. For example, if you have unprotected sex, you could end up pregnant or get someone pregnant and your life will change. A long term consequence would be if you wait till marriage to have sex and are faithful to your husband or wife, you know they love you for you and won’t take advantage of you. I know I won’t be a father in the near future, but these are some ideas that I have. Can you think of any?

Justin L.

There is hardly ever a situation that I feel that I can bring myself to blindly despise an individual or group for actions that they have committed, whether it be murderers, thieves or even satanist. I completely detest their actions versus the actual entity.

with that being said…

I hate…. I HATE with the utmost repugnance and the most concrete fluid venom… I HATE rapists. point blank period.  It kicks my ass  when a youth is involved. The vulnerability to the aftermath of disassociation and depersonalization among other things are clearly daunting. I have an easy fixation to say I hate rapist versus I hate the act of rape and they thing is that I hate to hate. I dislike hatred

But….

I don’t want to reason or comprise their motivation which is immature because I don’t believe one rapist decided after the moment of their initial birth that they was going to make it a priority on their itinerary to have a career goal of being a rapist. Still, I don’t want to understand. I just want them to perish.

Below is a video by Toronto based playwright and dub poet d’bi.young performing her piece titled “Children Of The Lesser God”. Much props to Queen for being given the opportunity perform this at HBO Def Poetry Jam. d’bi is founder of anitAFRIKA! dub theatre which I have been going to lately to perform my pieces even though I don’t do “dub poetry” but I have learned a lot and been influenced by the art. Check out more info at

www.anitafrika.com

David Delisca

Last night i stayed up reading a book called ‘Faith Under Fire: Betrayed by a little thing called Love’. The book is a Memoir of author LaJoyce Brookshire who married a man who knew he was infected with HIV but neglected to tell her. His family knew he was HIV positive and Co-Signed the marriage anyway! He carried the lie out until his disease betrayed him. HIV turned to full blown AIDS and he was eventually found out. He never admitted to knowing he was HIV positive upon the date of their wedding but all things in the aftermath of his diagnosis proved that he did. He also never felt it necessary to tell his  wife how he contracted HIV but all signs pointed to him being a man on the Down-Low (a man living a straight life but having secret homosexual relations). LaJoyce Brookshire is miraculously  HIV negative but that is not the fate for  so many other people who are in or have been in relationship with individuals that may have put them at high risk  for HIV. In the book Brookshire recognizes that she was spared by God’s grace but understands fully her responsibility in the matter. At the time she met the man who could destroy her life she was in her late twenties and desperate to be married. With a closet full of bridesmaid dresses and no wedding gown she admits she threw caution to the wind, compromised and ignored the signs  that showed her he was not the man to marry. During the entire ordeal she remained faithful to her husband, upheld her vows and cared for him until his dying day. Brookshire made it out but realized the whole ordeal could have been avoided had she only listened to God and her gut. She encourages “…..when someone shows who they are, believe them!”

You know life is just like that. I don’t believe we just find ourselves in situations. I truly believe we are given an understanding of impending doom but choose to proceed anyway. For a bevy of reasons we ignore our common sense and discernment. Six months ago I moved to Columbus Ohio from Huntington West Virgina. When I first got to Columbus I knew no one and was desperate for human contact. I met a guy who from the jump I knew was not right but pursued him anyway, being desperate for male affection and all. I did not have sex with this person but I did put myself in great danger by participating in other relations with him unprotected. In the time after that I was terrified by what my status could be in terms of my sexual health. I’m proudly free of an STD but I could have avoided the whole thing by just listening to what I knew was right! I know Brookshire’s book is Sub-titled ‘Betrayed by a Thing Called Love’ but is it really betrayel if you betray your own instints? All I know is if this book was my story it would be entitiled ‘Betrayed by a Thing Called Michella’. True Story.

Michella Minter

Why are we so obsessed with sex & gender?

It seems that is all we think about now a days. I was in a conversation with a few friends the other day. My friend had brought her boyfriend to meet us all, and we were warned he was a bit on the conservitive side. Now, knowing me, I am not one to hide in a closet. I see nothing unnatural or special in regards to my attraction to women. It just is. As such, I stopped filtering myself long ago.

So, this guy happens to be dating a straight girl with a lot of gay friends. We asked him if he had a problem with that, and he said that he was fiscally conservative, but people’s personal lives was non of the governments business. He went on to say that the reason he had a problem calling himself a republican is because the republican party–whose main belief consist of less government control in citizens personal lives–was being hypocritical. He said that who we love and who we decide to marry should not be the business of the US Government. Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised and approved right there an then. =0)

Later in the discussion, we were talking about everything from Movies to gender and sexuality. This is where we come to my discussion.

 I don’t feel any shame in who I love because I see nothing unnatural about it. Nothing taboo about it. I don’t feel any shame because of the glasses I look through.

I began to explain that gender is a state of mind. Gender only exist in our heads. Now the question most people bring up is What about genitalia? Well, honey child, let me tell you something… genitalia does not define gender. In our modern society, you would think there would be more awareness in regards to intersex individuals, but most have no idea what I am talking about.

See, 1 in 1,000 individuals will be born with some kind of intersex trait.  Now, hold on to your seats… 1 in 100 will be born not exactly male or female. They don’t teach you that in school now do they? And if they do, there is so much mis-information out there… it can get confusing.

Here is the deal…For centuries, doctors have been mutilating perfectly functional genitalia because it did not match their diagrams. They want the kids to lead “normal” lives, but who are they to define what is normal and abnormal?  They say the intersex babies will grow up messed up in the head (they don’t.. if they do, its not because of the fact they are intersex) and that they have to choose a gender. It is astonishing to me how there is nothing medically wrong with these children, and yet, mutilation of perfectly healthy genitalia is performed to make these kids “normal.”

If any of you get the time, you should check out this film on YouTube or find it else where. It is called One in 1,000.  It will open your eyes from the view of those who are intersex, and those in the fight for intersex rights.

The point of all this is… Gender is all in the mind. The form of the body does not play by our labeling rules. Nature/God/ whatever you want to call it… does not follow our societal rules. The mindset of society seems to be If it is as nature made it, than it is good, but if nature makes it and it does not fall under what we like, then it is unnatural/abnormal and must be fixed because nature got it wrong.  How does that make sense?

Our words did not come before this world. Our words came to attempt to define this world–to communicate, but not solidify.

Gender is all in the mind. Notice how we have to learn language… it is not inborn? We are the ones who label things normal or not normal. Personality traits are confused with gender traits and make a whole huge mess… When we start assigning personality traits to genitalia we create a world of mayhem. Identity crises starts happening because we do not fit in with what society claims is a “real man” or “real woman.” Even in the GLBTQ world… what is a “real lesbian” or “real gay”? All these labels really on a gender. But even in the earliest stages of the sexes, there was only one sex. I am not saying that is the right way, but what I am saying is… if even the sexes continue to change, and are not concrete, then why are we so obsessed with solidifying gender? Why does it matter so damn much?

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 A lot of people do not realize the emotional impact that sex has on a person. Though it is a physical action to most, to others, sex is a sense of connection..trust.. and even love. Many young people these days, especially guys, do not realize what their actions may do to a person. So, I have found a very emotional poem by Ms. Alysia entitled, “That Girl”, to illustrate the emotional impact sex had on her well-being

Marcus Armour